RULES FOR HIKING NAKED

I was asked in a semi-oblique way to explain about hiking naked.  Some people have a great amount of trepidation about hiking naked – the fear of 'getting caught,' among other things.  So I have decided to write down my own rules for hiking naked.  Please bear in mind that these are my rules, not THE RULES, and you are not governed by them unless you choose to be.  So they are not rules per se, they are more like guidelines.  Feel free to adopt any or all of them, but when you are done they will be your rules, not mine.

MAXIM

If God had wanted humankind to be naked we would have been born that way.

 GENERAL

Get naked, keep calm and have fun.

The purpose of hiking is to hike, to get out in the open air and expose yourself to the natural world, to see a new trail or revisit an old one.  It is just a hike and, hopefully, not an adventure.  For most guys, whether or not we are honest enough to admit it, true adventure requires an even chance of death – sort of like any visit to the United States these days.  Women are usually much smarter about such matters.

The purpose of hiking naked is to maximize your own personal freedom and to be closer to nature.  Its purpose IS NOT to shock, dismay, annoy or alarm non-naturists.

DO NOT hike naked in hunting season.

Numbers matter.  Numbers are self-validating.  Hiking as a couple or in a group is far better than hiking alone.  Hiking in a mixed group is by far the best option.  There is a calculus of suspicion within the minds of non-naturists that runs something like this:

    – one man hiking naked alone is a pervert of some kind
    – two men hiking naked are gay
    – a group of men hiking naked are probably a gay gang
    – one woman hiking naked alone is a target for harassment or worse
    – two women hiking naked are much less of a target for harassment
    – a group of women hiking naked are far less of a target for harassment
    – a mixed gender couple hiking naked is self-validating and not dangerous
    – a mixed gender group hiking naked is self-validating and not dangerous

In terms of traffic volume on the trails weekdays are far better than weekends.  Holiday weekends during school vacation are the worst possible times to hike naked.

THE LAW

I am not a lawyer.  The following two observations are, I believe, correct.  They do not constitute legal advice.  If you want legal advice go to a lawyer.

Under Canadian law as it exists currently the following are your best bases for a successful defence in the unlikely event of prosecution:
1. that the location was sufficiently isolated that you felt you had a reasonable expectation of privacy. This point has already been established in law as a legal defence; and
2. that you did not intend to insult or offend any person and either covered up or offered to do so.

Women who choose to hike topless are breaking no law.  This has been affirmed in principle by the Ontario courts and upheld in the courts of British Columbia.  In keeping with the Common Law the same should hold true in all provinces except, perhaps, Québec, which has a different legal foundation.

LOCATIONS

Know the area in which you are hiking.

DO NOT hike close to inhabited areas.

Know the route, the access points, the relative frequency of usage.

Use trail maps of the area if they are available.

Have a careful look at the area on Google Earth.

Long horizons and open spaces are good but be aware of your environment and be prepared to react appropriately.

Once you have found a reasonably workable area for naked hiking DO NOT BLAB it all over the internet or you will no longer have it.  Feel free to share the information with friends whom you actually know IN PERSON – imaginary friends on Facebook don’t count.

BEHAVIOUR

On arrival at the access point if the parking lot has several cars in it be aware that you are not alone on the trail. You might want to reconsider the project for the day.

If the parking lot is empty and the trail is a single track in and out, you’re likely golden on the outbound leg; use greater caution on the return trip.

If the parking lot is empty and the trail is a single loop in and out you’re likely golden as far as the midpoint; use more caution on the back half of the route.

Act naturally!  What you are doing is perfectly natural, just somewhat unusual.  If you can think outside the box you can live outside the clothes.

Be polite. There are two universally polite greetings along the trail: “Good morning” and “Good afternoon” – being naked does not change this.

If someone says something ignorant to you gently return the favour by ignoring them.  DO NOT engage in a slanging match.

DO NOT annoy the textiles!  Cover up when you have time to do so.

When you don’t have time to cover up step off the trail and put a respectful distance between yourself and the textiles.

Watch your back, so to speak, check your back trail from time to time in case there is a troop of Girl Guides or a hungry bear coming up from behind.

Don’t annoy the bears either, ditto all other wildlife.

Keep your eyes open and your ears too.  This is no less important when hiking clothed as naked.  When you are in the forest and you hear the approach of hoofbeats moose are far more probable than horses.

Keep your eyes on the trail ahead.  Be aware of your “meeting distance” – the farther you can see down the trail the more time you have to react to someone coming toward you. 

Meeting distance is also important when encountering wildlife.  Bears and moose are not uncommon, coyotes somewhat less so and cougars are rare but not unknown – know how to deal with all of them.

If you do ‘get caught’ don’t worry too much about it, it is a very strange naturist who objects to being seen naked.  Offer to cover up and if the textiles decline your kind offer just keep calm and carry on.  If they show an interest in naturism stay and talk to them, maybe you can convert them, or at least plant a seed of the idea.  Consider this to be evangelization among the clothen.

Anything that you take into the forest with you should leave with you.  Don’t throw your crap into the forest!  Feel free to pick up and pack out crap left by morons.

EQUIPMENT

Some free-hikers insist that the only way to hike truly naked is to do so barefoot and without a pack.  There is a word for this.  That word is STUPID.

Carry a pack with some reasonable survival equipment and supplies in it, just as you would for any hike.  Include an Ace bandage or two against the possibility of a sprain. 

If you do not know what constitutes reasonable equipment and supplies DO NOT go hiking, regardless of your wardrobe choice, until such time as you learn.

DO NOT hike without something at hand with which to cover up quickly.  A hiking kilt is a good choice.  Remember, 'a man in a kilt is a man and a half.'

DO NOT think that you can somehow wriggle your legs into a pair of tight shorts in quick time.  More likely you’ll end up arse-first on the ground with your shorts caught on one knee and the other boot.  This is not an edifying sight but it is funny for spectators.

DO NOT hike barefoot!  No matter what the so-called free-hiking purists say hiking barefoot is deeply, dangerously, irretrievably STUPID.  If you injure your feet at some point distant from your car you have a long and painful hobble ahead of you.

Always carry a hiking staff or a reasonable facsimile thereof.  Collapsible nordic hiking poles are NOT a reasonable facsimile, they are useless crap as they will likely collapse just when you need them.  I carry a walking axe most times.  If I plan to go stream walking I bring a two metre long staff instead. 

SUMMARY

So those are my own rules, so far at least.  Who knows what new rules might be added with further experience.

Get naked, keep calm and have fun.

2016 Halifax World Naked Bike Ride

I went to the 2016 Halifax World Naked Bike Ride this year.  I support the idea behind the WNBR and have participated in other cities.  As noted in a previous posting within this blog, the WNBR is most definitely NOT a naturist event per se.  The WNBR is really about bicycle safety, with nudity used as a graphic demonstration to car drivers of just how vulnerable bicyclists are out there on the road.  That was how it started, but along the way it has become a stage for protest or consciousness-raising for a wide variety of issues including (but by no means limited to)  petroleum-dependency and legalization of public nudity.  It is a house of many mansions.

I set off for Halifax with mixed feelings about the ride in that city.  Previously, I had been told a number of horror stories about it by people whose opinions I respect, and I had seen YouTube video of previous rides, video that was rather cringeworthy in places.  Despite it being a house of many mansions it should certainly not be a stage for the exhibition of bad manners.  LESSON: If you want respect you have to give respect.

The run-up to the 2016 Halifax WNBR was sketchy.  One of the things that was wrong with the 2016 ride was the poor communication plan, compounded by the existence of two separate FaceBook pages with not-so-compatible information on each.  The FB page “World Naked Bike Ride – Halifax” is a public group that has been around for a long time and is no secret.  The 2016 Halifax organizers launched their own event page “Halifax World Naked Bike 2016, 9th Edition” then largely ignored the original public group.  This was a fatal error as confusion resulted, leading to uncertainty, leading to non-attendance.  The organizers should have monitored posts on both pages in order to correct any false impressions and provide timely info.  LESSON: Pay attention to your primary means of communication.

Then there was the problem of the route; there were two versions of it.  When v.1 was published it was far too long – people pointed this out and the organizers responded positively by issuing v.2 a day or two later, a route only half as long as the original.  So far so good but people were still discussing v.1 on the WNBR-Hfx page and it was not being corrected, leading to the fatal error noted above.  LESSON: If there are two active info sites, put your info on both sites, then monitor and make corrections if necessary.

Also, on the HfxWNBR 2016 page there was much dithering by the organizers about the weather.  Folks, if you’re going to dither, dither in private, not on social media.  If you dither on FB it confuses the issue and causes people to stay away.  LESSON: Don’t dither in public.  Think it out, make a decision and then stick to it.

In order to avoid parking problems in Halifax I biked in from Bedford and, having arrived quite early in the day, took the opportunity to scout out the route chosen for the ride.  This wasn’t entirely without a selfish motive, the morning was a little cool and the exercise would help keep me warm.  The route was quick enough, even with a couple of side trips, because traffic was minimal and I was lucky enough to catch nearly every green light.

When I had completed the route and arrived at the gathering place on Fern Lane (at 12:45) there was no sign, no one serving as a greeter and no one who seemed to know what was going on, or at least they weren’t telling much.  The organizers were largely uncommunicative, almost non-responsive.  But kudos to the guy with the music machine, he was cool.  LESSON:  An event like the WNBR requires a feeling of welcome, of inclusion and a little animation would have helped too.

I killed some time by wandering about Fern & May trying to keep warm enough and could not help but observe and reflect upon the organization of the event so far.  That reflection was making me bite my tongue because it wasn’t really any of my business.  Besides, things could still have turned out okay – only they didn’t.  I’ve organized lots of things in the past and the hard truth is that it takes work, engagement, communication, enthusiasm and teamwork.  Frankly, standing about looking taciturn, like a captain pacing the quarterdeck of his burning ship just doesn’t do the trick.  It seemed clear to me that the 2016 Hfx WNBR was a shipwreck in progress.  (Were those seagulls circling overhead, or vultures?)

At T minus 15 mins and counting there was no sign of either welcome or animation, except when the media showed up and one of the organizers began holding forth to one of the reporters.  I had previously spoken to one of the media guys and he told me that the organizers had told him that their “minimum number” for riding was twenty – if they didn’t get twenty they would cancel.

At this point there were nine prospective riders and four media people, the total of which was already outnumbered by pudgy camera-wielding perverts gathering near the corner of Fern and May like so many crows on a wire, eager for the first glimpse of (Gasp!) naked flesh.  I’m sorry to say that they would have been very disappointed by it as almost every rider there was an old guy.  Most of them had the sort of pasty complexions that had never seen a ray of sunshine.  Clearly few were naturists or they would have been tanned, at least somewhat.  It made me wonder just exactly what demographic we were dealing with and none of my conclusions were particularly complimentary. No women riders had showed up by that time, although one had stopped by momentarily and said she would be back.   As noted above, I have participated in other rides in other places and this one had no oxygen in it.  It was all too tawdry for me. At T minus 9 mins I got on my bike and biked back to my motel in Bedford.

On the trip to Bedford I decided that perhaps I hadn’t given the event a completely fair evaluation so, on reaching my motel, I got in my car and drove back to town.  That was when I realized they had cancelled.  (I learned later they had cancelled at T plus 2 mins, ostensibly because of inclement weather.)  Small wonder!

They rescheduled to the following day, Sunday July 3rd, but let us be crystal clear about the real reason for rescheduling – very few people showed up!  The ride was cancelled due to lack of interest.  It did go the following day, still with lack of support – apparently the smallest Hfx WNBR ever – when there was no bad weather to use as a codpiece to cover the failure.  But really, cancelled for fictitious bad weather?  C’mon guys, try to butch up a little!  Don’t blame your own shortcomings on Mother Nature.

Yes, I suppose you could say I should have taken that same advice and stayed until the bitter end, but I didn’t help organize this clinker and I could pedal away with a clear conscience.

In my opinion the 2016 Hfx WNBR failed for several reasons:

(1) delayed decision-making that led to a late announcement.  How hard is it to get together in the late winter or early spring and choose a date, make an announcement and proceed from that firm base;

(2) a poor choice of date.  The “official” date for the WNBR is the second Saturday of June, delaying until early July is not a good idea.  So too, holding it on a long weekend is not a good idea as it conflicts with too many other events and personal plans;

(3) poor communications and apparently no communications plan;

(4) bad route planning and the confusion resulting from it;

(5) very poor attitude at the start point;

(6) and, in very important measure, because of the hangover from the 2015 ride, a debacle in which the lead riders, in a stunning display of bad manners, invaded the Canada Games Team announcement on the Grande Parade.  This is not the first time some bonehead in the Halifax ride took the lead and dragged the rest of the riders into places better avoided, something similar happened with a street hockey tournament in 2013.  To reiterate a lesson noted above -- If you want respect you have to give respect.

Personally, I am neither here nor there with regard to the Halifax WNBR as it is presently organized.  In theory and in practice I support the WNBR.  But the Halifax ride?  I won’t bother wasting time or money to go to the 2017 ride – if they have one – so long as it is being run by the same people with the same bad attitudes.

But, returning to the issue of bicycle safety for a moment, like car drivers everywhere else those in Halifax are a mixed bag.  The majority seem to have no problem sharing the road – or at least they don’t want a bicyclist splattered all over their Lexus – but there is an important minority that certainly needs re-education and a tune-up of their attitude.  This was made abundantly clear to me on my trips back and forth from Bedford when I became aware of just how nasty some Halifax drivers could be – cutting cyclists off, crowding them off the pavement, invading the bike lane (or parking in it) or sneaking up close before blasting cyclists with car horns.  These people definitely have a head-space problem.   If the WNBR can help raise consciousness regarding this issue then rock on!

THREE DAYS OF NUDENESS

During the past three days I have been trying to make up for my low level of nude recreation so far this summer.  The lack of activity wasn’t my fault, it was imposed by the weather. Yes, I’ve made a few trips to Kellys Beach and other places but I usually try to get in more nude time than that.  So it was high time to make up for lost time.

On Wednesday I took off for a stream not too distant from home for a combination of stream walking (see my earlier post on this topic), fishing, swimming and tanning.  I had finished my lawn repairs the previous day (eight tons of topsoil wheelbarrowed around the yard to be spread and seeded) so I gifted myself with a day off.  If you’ve never gone fishing naked you should add it to you list of possibilities. (Helpful hint: watch out for your back cast.)

It was a beautiful day all way around: warm and sunny without being oppressively hot, the relative humidity was quite low and to top it off there was a nice breeze. Once at the stream I worked my way up the current, pausing to fish for awhile at each pool along the way but catching only one unlucky perch.  It must have been hungry because I was using a bare hook, and an barbless one at that.  After all, the purpose of going fishing is not necessarily to catch fish.  Sometimes it is just about getting out into the great outdoors and getting in touch with nature.  With this in mind I said “Hi!” to the perch, carefully removed the hook and placed the fish back into the stream, probably none the wiser for its ordeal.  Farther on a small sunfish was unhappily marooned in a shrinking puddle cut off from the rest of the creek.  With no small difficulty this fish was scooped up in my hat and liberated into the flowing water.  (It was Good Samaritan day you see.)  Finally I reached the pool I was headed for and lo, there was a big trout in it.  I could tell because as I stood in the shallows looking down into the water, it was stationary in the current looking up at me.  No, really!  Here was this trout, about eight or nine inches long, the ruler of this little stretch of the stream, calmly contemplating the sole angler around for miles.  Somehow I sensed that I had lost the element of surprise with this trout.  Besides, there seemed to be only one trout and there was no point in bringing home just one fish.  It takes a minimum of two of that size to make a decent meal.  I told him to relax and put my spinning rod away.

Did I mention the water?  Yes, it was at summer low but that has the effect of letting the sun warm it all the faster.  It wasn’t even slightly chilly, a fact emphasized by my standing waist deep in the pool without the slightest shiver.  So, fishing was cancelled and replaced by swimming, making the day a three-for-one.  (The trout didn’t seem to mind sharing the pool.)  After the swim I had a bit of a lie-out on the little sand beach beside the pool in order to increase my store of vitamin D.  This made the day a four-for-one, plus bonus points for the lack of mosquitoes. All in all, not too shabby a day.



On Thursday, it too being a beautiful day, I headed to the Fundy Footpath for a spot of hiking.  I also wanted to check out what has happened to Long Beach, formerly an unofficial but often-used nudist beach.  That was the bad news for the day!  Long Beach, formerly accessible solely by the footpath or creative bushwhacking, now has parkway access, two parking lots, toilets, two scenic lookoffs and rank upon rank of picnic tables.  The Fundy Trail & Parkway folks must think that they’re going to bring in bus tours of beachgoers.  As if!  Just wait until the first tourist dunks a pinkie toe into the Bay of Fundy and learns how cold the water is – that will put paid to great expectations about the beach.  But in the meantime, barring some sort of agreement with the FT&P authorities, Long Beach has been lost for nudist recreation.

Having gotten the skinny on Long Beach I caught the trailhead for the Fundy Footpath there and hiked away eastward to Seely Beach, formerly stop #2 on the Footpath.  Seely Beach used to be a popular campsite among the ATV set and was accessible via the old – and I do mean OLD! – road that eventually connected to the Big Salmon River Road.  More on this later.

The section of the Fundy Footpath from Long Beach to Seely Beach is just about 4 kms in length, passes through challenging terrain, and is in infinitely better condition than the section from the Big Salmon River to Long Beach.  I have hiked both sections this year and the BSR-LB leg can best be described as sad, bad and difficult.  The LB-SB leg is, by comparison, mostly quite pleasant, even where it requires some tricky footwork.  But make no mistake about it, the Fundy Footpath is not a walk in the park.  It is a genuine unimproved wilderness trail and, you know, I like it that way.  It is impossible for bicycles, ATVs and horses.

The Fundy Footpath is not to be confused with the Fundy Trail, which more or less follows the course of the Fundy Parkway lying between the gate and the Big Salmon River.  The Fundy Trail is a nice walk in the woods, but it is a (relatively) wide, groomed multi-purpose trail through a tamed forest.  Baby carriages can be pushed along the Trail; the Footpath beyond Long Beach is definitely PG13 at minimum. 

One does not meet kids on the Footpath and maybe that is one of the reasons it is popular with nude hikers.  I’ve hiked one or more sections of the Footpath every year for the past nineteen and I’ve usually encountered one or more people along the way.  I’ve been keeping a rough tally of the wardrobe choices of the other hikers and, so far at least, the ratio of clothed to naked is about 3:2.  Of those who are clothed, none have shown any problem meeting those who are naked.  I wonder if these stats would remain consistent if one could account for each and every hiker on every good day.  I’d like to think so.  I believe that people who go off hiking in the wild are far more broad-minded than the average urbanite.
But why do we do it?  I mean, of course, why do we hike naked?  Someone on a naked hiking forum – a new guy of course – recently stated that he did it because he is sexually excited    by it.  Really?!?!?  How pathetic is that!  Others on the forum did not agree with him and he skulked away.

Why do I do it?  Well, truthfully, I do it for a variety of reasons and the number of reasons has expanded over the years.  The top two reasons have always been “to be closer to nature” and “freedom,” or so I used to state as my default explanation.  But there has always been the need to prove to myself that I was comfortable within my own skin.  Oh sure, there are a lot of other valid reasons related to health and fitness but bigots among the clothen usually have counter arguments at hand for those.  On further examination “comfort” is an issue, as is “stress relief.”  I figured out the first one all on my own but the thought about stress relief was pointed out to me by a woman at Kellys a few weeks ago.  “This is great,” she said, “no stress at all.”  The more I thought about that statement, the more I realized it was true.  Great!  One cannot have too many good reasons for doing a good thing.

In the past few years I have been able to say quite honestly that I do it for religious reasons as well, for I have concluded that unless one can fully accept one’s natural self as it is – one’s full humanity – once can never reasonably contemplate either God or another human being.  (If you’re not inclined to believe in God substitute “nature.”) So you might say that I do it, in part at least, to follow the dictum “Know thyself.”  I can think of no better reason.
                                       
And oh yes, the Seely Beach Road – see, I told you I’d get back to it.  As previously noted, in former times it connected Seely Beach to the Big Salmon River Road – it doesn’t do this anymore.  It has now been cut off by the extension of the Fundy Parkway and the days of ATV outings to Seely Beach are a thing of the past.  Yay!

The road itself is just the right width to accommodate ATVs and Jeeps – real Jeeps like M-38s, CJ5s, CJ7s and YJs, not the bloated luxomobiles Jeep now sells – but only for one-way traffic.  Unless I miss my guess this little road predates the internal combustion engine and was built for use by horses, a relic of the times when men were men and sheep were nervous.  The road is to my mind a little marvel of human endeavour, built by the sweat of men and horse gouging out and backfilling a 700 metre long diagonal course along the slope, rising 144 metres from the beach to where is now meets the parkway.  (That is a 20% grade, by the way – pity the poor horses.)  Parts of the road are now severely washed out and there is no bridge over the small brook at the bottom. (Bridge?  Horses don’t need no steenking bridges for so small a brook.) 

From the looks of things up at the parkway there is no immediate plan to rehab the Seely Beach Road as anything.  I really hope this is true because it means that Seely Beach will be left out “in the wild” and will remain a nudist-friendly beach and campsite on the Footpath.  On the other hand, since the Fundy Trail & Parkway has (in my opinion) so far ruined every other beach along their shore maybe the days of Seely Beach in the wild are also numbered.  That would be a real pity.  Use it while you still can.  So ended day number two.


Friday was another beautiful day for nude recreation, this time on bicycle as I continue to “train” for the Halifax Naked Bike Ride.  Anyway, that is what I told myself.  Having now seen the planned route for the ride I’m growing iffy about participating.  But in the meantime I loaded my bike onto the car and headed back to the Fundy Parkway, not to ride there but because it provides easy access to the Big Salmon River Road, the backbone of a more or less empty network of well-graded woods roads.

I had the place to myself – didn’t see another person once I left the parking lot.  But I did see plenty of wildlife, which is usually nice, sometimes a bit surprising.  Besides the smaller folk – red squirrels, hares and a groundhog – I also saw a pair beavers busily working on their dam.  Then there were two separate deer sightings, something that is no big deal because I see them in my front yard every morning.  More of a surprise was Mama Bear with twin cubs, seen at a non-threatening distance and therefore of no particular concern.  No, the concern came about when I was rocketing full tilt downhill on a dirt road when I found myself headed for a very tall bull moose standing beside the road staring at my approach.  All I could do was veer to the opposite side of the very narrow road and hope for the best.  Luckily, he blinked first and sloped off with a clatter to vanish into the nearby wood line.  All the same, it did get the old heart pumping doubletime for a few seconds.  All of the aforementioned animals looked sleek and well fed, and as the road is comfortably distant from any urban areas that means the forest is producing plenty of food.

The other animal life that was present in abundance out there were frogs, hundreds, more probably thousands of bullfrogs and leopard frogs staking out the best corners of several ponds and calling for prospective mates.  Every pond I stopped at was well populated by the not-so-little guys and I take that as a very good sign because they had seemed to be in rather short supply for a few years.  Ecologists consider them a bellwether species for determining the health of an ecosystem so it was nice to see them in abundance.

I pedaled eastward for a couple of hours, then turned about and retraced my route back to my car, keeping careful watch for bears and moose.  Seeing none this time.  All in all, another great day to be naked outdoors.

Support the Right to Bare Butts!

So, the 2016 Halifax Naked Bike Ride is on for 02 July.  That isn't very far away!  I'm not sure why they hold it so late there but that's up to them.  We don't have a WNBR event in New Brunswick so the proper thing to do is to support the neighbours' efforts.  I'm strongly considering going to Halifax for the event and I've put myself "in training" for it. 

I dragged my bike out of the garage last Thursday and, after spending about two hours disassembling, lubricating and reassembling the gear shifters -- and every other moving part -- I was finally good to go.  So far I’ve found time for a couple of two-hour rides around town, and a few less than an hour.  For those I was clothed of course, but that really isn’t in the full spirit of the WNBR.  So yesterday I headed out to a not-too-distant network of woods roads and got nearly two hours of straining my legs to give my butt a ride -- naked of course.  That is the only proper way to prepare for the WNBR, training in realistic conditions and experiencing the possibilities of chafing you just don’t notice when layered in Lycra. 

It wasn’t exactly a brilliant day but the slightly cooler temperatures made riding around that much more comfortable.  It worked out quite well, all things considered, and was preferable to either a truly hot day or a rainy one.  I’ve experienced both from time to time.  When I rode in the WNBR at Montpelier in 2011 the day was cool, even chilly, with a steady drizzle.  Prior to the start of that ride there was much discussion about whether we should proceed, given the weather.  But you know what?  Skin is eminently waterproof and much easier to dry after the ride than, say, anything else.  So off we went and a good time was had by all.  We all looked like drowned rats when we posed for the group photo on the statehouse steps, but we were happy drowned rats.

So that’s the way I look at WNBR events – go with it rain or shine.  Oh sure, if it is ridiculously cold or incredibly windy you have to be sensible, but a bit of drizzle shouldn’t put things off.  As an example of being sensible, at Halifax last year the primary date for the ride coincided with the arrival of the strong remnant of a hurricane.  Now that was a very good reason to put it off to a later date, and they did.

Let’s hope we get good weather this year and have a good turnout for the ride -- all nude, none lewd.  Support the Right to Bare Butts! 

Naturism as a belief system

We were having a discussion on FB the other day . . . well, I thought that we were having a discussion.  It turns out I was wrong.  What we were doing was being presented with an ill-formed statement and being required to sign on with it.  Dissenting opinions were not welcome.  I now know this because for the high crime of dissenting I was dropped from that particular FB group. 

This is funny, in a way, because the owner of the FB page, and also the owner of a related blog by the same name, periodically gets banned from FB for violating its rules;  then, once reinstated, he goes on about it, whinging and blatting about free speech.  Well, which is it?  Does he believe in free speech or not?  It turns out that one is free to say whatever one wishes on his FB page so long as it agrees with him.  Speak otherwise and one is cast out.  Really, this particular facebooker behaves remarkably like the FB police that he has often railed about.  The truth is that the two of them are really sisters beneath the skin.

But being cast out isn’t as bad as one might think because the FB page is mostly blather and the related blog isn’t any better.  I only joined because I like to keep abreast of what is being said within various segments of the Canadian naturist community and I had been checking both sites.

The issue raised by the blogger, then advertised on his FB page, was his contention that the Federation of Canadian Naturists, the FCN, should be split between East and West.  I countered that there was already an East/West split in Canadian naturism as well as a French/English divide in the East.  I put forward the position that we needed fewer splits and more solidarity, and that further splits were counterproductive.  (I don’t have the exact words anymore because I didn’t keep copies of my posts.)

He replied, in a somewhat snippy manner, that the issue was really one of funding – there wasn’t enough to go around.  I countered by asking how splitting the organization could possibly increase funding, noting that the duplication of administration was not an obvious path to fiscal health.

He replied that the issue was really one of numbers of volunteers.  I countered by asking which was the real issue (of the two that he claimed to be the real issue) funding or numbers of volunteers.

He didn’t reply, but he did have the final word – he dropped me from the group.  This is the internet equivalent of holding one's breath until one turns blue.  Not that he is actually holding his breath, of course, just that he chose to behave like a two year old child who couldn’t get his way.


The way I see it, is that if you can’t formulate a cogent argument, or you are unprepared to defend a silly argument, it is best to keep your fingers off the keyboard. 

Oh, I know, that isn’t the internet way of doing things, and I really do believe that everyone has the right to hold their own opinions.  I just find it strange how many netizens are like this particular facebooker/blogger and don’t really think about what they post.


But all this is by way of introduction to the real point of this post, the question of whether naturism is a belief system.  I think that it is. 

Think about it for a second.  Those of us who consider ourselves to be naturists largely subscribe to the official definition of naturism agreed by the INF: “a lifestyle in harmony with nature, expressed through social nudity, and characterized by self-respect of people with different opinions and of the environment.”  We also, largely, subscribe to the stricture that such nudity is, and must remain, non-sexualized.  These two points are our dogma.

Those of us who are 'Christian naturists' believe that non-sexualized social nudity is not at variance with holy writ.  Those who have no particular religious belief simply consider it to be “in harmony with nature.”  In other words we believe it to be natural, normal, modest and moral – one might add “righteous.”

The New Oxford English Dictionary defines a “nudist” as “an adherent of the cult of the nude.”  To begin with, that isn’t a very helpful definition.  Secondly, “cult of the nude,” seriously?  No really, seriously?  Who wrote that definition, Cotton Mather?  Simply using the word “cult” in that definition betrays the derogatory opinions held by the writer as it is generally used in a pejorative manner against religious groups holding to doctrines or practices which differ from the established religion of the land.  Religion, after all, has always been a powerful method of social control that has, at least from the time of the Roman Empire, been co-opted by the civil authorities to keep the people in line.  But naturism isn’t a religion, and it certainly isn’t a cult.  Cults have charismatic leaders, rigid doctrines, draconian enforcement of their rules and, in some cases, special koolaid.

As a collective, naturists aren’t slurping down the koolaid or waiting for the mother ship to arrive.  Our leaders are most often voices in the wilderness, our doctrines are pretty much as described by the INF and our enforcement of the rules never goes beyond expulsion for bad behaviour, if indeed we can expel the offending party.  A recent tribunal ruling in Ontario forbade a naturist community from expelling a person and has granted that person right of residence within the community, despite the fact that the community exists on private property.  The community, the adherents of the belief system, has in effect been told by the civil authority that they must suffer a heretic to live among them.

To return to our facebooker/blogger, he fancies himself some sort of leader among naturists.  He demands followers who agree with him and expels those who do not.  I suppose that makes me a heretic in his personal belief system.  Is there any difference in these two heresies?

I believe that there is.  The first is one of individual transgression against the norms and mores – the belief system – of the a community which he has infiltrated by deception; the second one is a point of disagreement between two individuals.  The first is one of community whose territory has been violated by an individual who is not in harmony with the belief system of the community; the second is of an individual unable to frame a logical argument or to state the grounds on which anyone else might support it.   
   

To sum up this page of rambling thoughts I would like to state what I believe.

I subscribe to the INF definition of naturism as “a lifestyle in harmony with nature, expressed through social nudity, and characterized by self-respect of people with different opinions and of the environment.” 

I believe that such social nudity is, and must remain, non-sexualized.

I believe such social nudity to be natural, normal, modest, moral and, yes, righteous.

I do not believe for a moment that the FCN should be split on any basis, East/West or otherwise. 

I believe that the FCN, while being desperately distant from being perfect, should provide a necessary form of group legitimization for naturists across Canada. 

I believe that more naturists should become involved with the FCN and become card-carrying members of the organization.

I believe that the FCN could and should be much more active in educating the public concerning naturism.

I believe that the FCN could and should be much more active in lobbying government. 

I believe that the specific focus of the FCN in lobbying government should be the immediate  decriminalization of innocent nudity.

What do you believe?

An update . . . in 2017 the FCN made a major blunder and in doing so managed to colour public perceptions of naturism in a very unfortunate way. See my blogpost The FCN does not represent naturism within Canada  for further details. Unless and until it cleans up its act I can no longer support it, nor can I recommend that anyone else support it. That's just the way it goes.  That said, I still believe that Canadian naturists need a central organization to represent them.  If the FCN can't or won't be it then we need a different organization that will remain true to naturist ideals.

Quarter Moon Diet

I don’t make New Year resolutions.  There is no point.  New Year resolutions are things said much more out of the habit of making New Year resolutions than from the conviction that they should be kept.  So far in my life I have only managed to keep one New Year resolution, one made many years ago, and that was to cease making New Year resolutions.  All that said, this year, quite apart from anything to do with the New Year (in fact the decision was made at Yule 2015) I decided to lose some weight.

In pursuit of this plan to regain my girlish figure ( Hah! ) I decided on a diet and exercise plan.  Despite all claims to the contrary there is only one effective way to lose weight: reduce the number of calories consumed and increase the number of calories expended.  To be truly successful, such a regimen must be sustainable in the long term.  So I decided to try my own variation of the Lunar Diet.  I also decided to shut up about it until it showed some results.

The Lunar Diet calls for fasting during the three days of the Full Moon in each lunar cycle, plus a reasonable diet during the rest of the month.  (There is nothing special about the full moon, it is just a monthly marker for the purposes of the diet.)  This means that one must fast for three consecutive days out of every 29, or just about 10% of the time.  Put another way, this diet calls for a 10% reduction in calories consumed.  This isn’t a bad plan, so long as you don’t mind feeling like a famine victim once every month, or twice in those few months in which we get a Blue Moon.  But I feared that every such fast would be followed by a feast.  Going on an eating binge once per month is not an obvious path to weight loss.  So I considered some variations on the theme and came up with what I call the Quarter Moon Diet.

My Quarter Moon Diet calls for fasting one day per week (lunar quarter) and therefore four days per lunar month, one-seventh or 14% of the total days and the same percentage of calories not consumed.  So, strictly in terms of calories not consumed, the Quarter Moon Diet is superior to the Lunar Diet by a whopping 40%.  Also, because one is fasting a single day at a time rather than for three consecutive days I consider the problem of the rebound binge is less likely to materialize.  Plus I won’t wake up in the middle of the night trying to eat my own arm – now there’s a bonus!

On the fast day each month I can pretend that I’m prepping for a blood test the next day and just fast a bit longer than usual.  I consume nothing but water or coffee / tea (with skim milk) from after supper on the night before the fast day until 06:00 the day after, a total of about 36 hours. 

On all other days I try to be good.  Breakfast is high-fibre cereal with low-fat milk.  Lunch, if I eat lunch at all, is something healthy and low-fat: soup maybe, or fruit, or perhaps I’ll go crazy and have a six-inch veggie delight at Subway.  Dinner is whatever my wife decides to cook, just a normal-sized helping, no seconds and no desserts.  The rest of the time I eschew all junk food, snacks, sweets and alcohol (wasted calories), and I quaff down a lot of water.  I don’t count calories.  The result is that I’m not particularly hungry and I don’t require special treatment from the kitchen.

To go along with the Quarter Moon Diet I have increased my level physical activity by walking some miles every day that the weather allows, going to the gym for an hour or so every morning and roasting myself in the sauna after each workout.  Thus I increase the number of calories expended.  Bear in mind that it is winter in New Brunswick right now so aerobic snow shoveling is an added activity, usually on days when I don’t go on walkabout.

The other item I include in the Quarter Moon regimen is the easiest thing of all for naturists – go naked at home and don’t crank up the thermostat.  It is claimed studies show that being a bit chilly causes the human body to secrete the hormone irisin, which, it is also claimed, stimulates the conversion of fat into body heat.  I don’t have any idea how well this works but it’s a really good excuse for being naked when the Jehovah’s Witnesses show up unexpectedly.

So, how is this all working for me?  Is it working at all?

Well, yes, it does seem to be working.  Time will reveal the truth of the matter. 

Week #3 Update: The situation as of Week #3 is that I’ve found out the fasting isn’t difficult to get used to.  I have lost 3.5 kg of body weight overall.  I have no doubt lost a somewhat greater amount of fat because I’m also gaining muscle mass from my exercise regimen.  And oh, I’m spending less money by not snacking when I’m away from home.  So while my butt is decreasing in size my wallet is getting fatter.  What’s not to love about that?!  If I can continue to lose weight at the current rate (a fond hope but a complete unknown) then I could lose quite a bit by the start of summer.  I’ll barely cast a shadow on a sunny day.

Week #7 Update:  Hey, this diet is working, so far anyway.  Total weight loss to date is 10 kg, so says the scale at the gym this morning.   Fast Tuesday isn't getting easier but it isn't getting worse either . . . I don't feel hungry on that day, just a little cranky.  That's okay, I can handle being cranky so long as I keep losing weight.  I'll just try my best not to spread the crankiness around. 

Wintertime Blues

Okay, we are officially in the depths of winter here and it is really, REALLY difficult to think of an appropriately naturist topic for this season.  Yeah, sure, we’ve passed the solstice – all hail Sol Invictus – and the days are growing progressively longer by a few minutes each day.  However there are still almost thirty days to go until All Marmots' Mass and who knows what news, good or bad,  the furry little fellow might bring for us.  Not that I put any particular stock in the idea of groundhogs as meteorological prognosticators but really, can they be any worse than the weathermen?  I think not!

About all I can do in a naturist way these days is to sweat in the sauna or sit by my fireplace toasting my buns and dreaming of warm, sunny days ahead.  Let’s not dwell on just how far ahead!  But that lack of options is why we need a real naturist club hereabouts.  Sure, a full-service resort would be just the ticket – maybe – but when you’re talking about that sort of thing you’re talking about major gelt, and not the kind that comes with a chocolate filling.

Barring a white knight with a disposable fortune to build such a place and be prepared to operate at a loss we must set our sights lower, on a non-landed club with a good enough organization and enough willing people that we could, for instance, rent a pool for an evening.  But given the level of enthusiasm demonstrated for forming such a club perhaps it is best to wait for the White Knight . . . or maybe the Mad Hatter.

Enter the Mad Hatter, stage left.  In the meantime, why not launch an assault on the bastions of power and suggest that permissive regulations for topless beach use by women and more limited nudist beach use by all might give the province a competitive advantage in the tourism market.  Hey, why not?  A few thousand more visitors per summer month would surely be welcomed by our tourism sector and every dollar put through their cash registers means more tax money for the government – that’s the carrot.  Unfortunately I don’t have a stick to go with it.

It really isn’t that big a deal if you stop to think about it.  Yes, the existing law makes public nudity a criminal offense but it also requires the approval of the Attorney General to prosecute such cases – the provincial Attorney General.  So it is really a simple matter of making a cabinet decision at the provincial level and sending out a circular to the police: “Don’t hassle the nudists unless they are being lewd.” 

Again, why not?  All across the country there are nudist beaches that are either officially recognized or semi-officially tolerated and no harm has come to society as a result.  We have World Naked Bike Ride events in several cities across the land and it hasn’t resulted in public fornication or any other signs of societal collapse.  We have PRIDE parades all over the place with semi-clad and (some) altogether naked people marching through downtown cores and the federal, provincial and municipal governments stand proud, if not erect, in their support.

What we DON’T have is governmental support for, or toleration of, simple, innocent public nudity in appropriate places.  Would that we did!  And why can’t we have such support, or at least benign toleration for a lifestyle that is completely natural?  I won’t claim that it is inoffensive because we all know that somebody, somewhere will somehow endeavour to be offended by anything.  So what?  When WNBR events and PRIDE parades first showed up there were all sorts of public moralists bleating their brains out about them.  You don’t hear them so much anymore because they have been relegated to the dustbin of societal progress.   The same transformation is possible for public attitudes toward nudity in appropriate places on public lands: beaches, designated camping areas at federal and provincial parks, wilderness trails, etcetera.  All we need is for a few politicians to be a little more open minded and we could be well on our way to a new recognition of an ancient freedom – the freedom to appear in public in the wardrobe provided by our Creator.  Because whether you believe in God or just the random collision of the precursors of life followed by a course of evolution that is nearly impossible to credit, the inescapable fact is that we are all born naked, and it is an abomination before the throne of simple logic that we should be forced to be ashamed of our bodies and wrap them in consumer goods that are often completely unnecessary.

Okay, that’s all for the moment.  Now I have to figure out a way to present this to government.