RULES FOR HIKING NAKED

I was asked in a semi-oblique way to explain about hiking naked.  Some people have a great amount of trepidation about hiking naked – the fear of 'getting caught,' among other things.  So I have decided to write down my own rules for hiking naked.  Please bear in mind that these are my rules, not THE RULES, and you are not governed by them unless you choose to be.  So they are not rules per se, they are more like guidelines.  Feel free to adopt any or all of them, but when you are done they will be your rules, not mine.

MAXIM

If God had wanted humankind to be naked we would have been born that way.

 GENERAL

Get naked, keep calm and have fun.

The purpose of hiking is to hike, to get out in the open air and expose yourself to the natural world, to see a new trail or revisit an old one.  It is just a hike and, hopefully, not an adventure.  For most guys, whether or not we are honest enough to admit it, true adventure requires an even chance of death – sort of like any visit to the United States these days.  Women are usually much smarter about such matters.

The purpose of hiking naked is to maximize your own personal freedom and to be closer to nature.  Its purpose IS NOT to shock, dismay, annoy or alarm non-naturists.

DO NOT hike naked in hunting season.

Numbers matter.  Numbers are self-validating.  Hiking as a couple or in a group is far better than hiking alone.  Hiking in a mixed group is by far the best option.  There is a calculus of suspicion within the minds of non-naturists that runs something like this:

    – one man hiking naked alone is a pervert of some kind
    – two men hiking naked are gay
    – a group of men hiking naked are probably a gay gang
    – one woman hiking naked alone is a target for harassment or worse
    – two women hiking naked are much less of a target for harassment
    – a group of women hiking naked are far less of a target for harassment
    – a mixed gender couple hiking naked is self-validating and not dangerous
    – a mixed gender group hiking naked is self-validating and not dangerous

In terms of traffic volume on the trails weekdays are far better than weekends.  Holiday weekends during school vacation are the worst possible times to hike naked.

THE LAW

I am not a lawyer.  The following two observations are, I believe, correct.  They do not constitute legal advice.  If you want legal advice go to a lawyer.

Under Canadian law as it exists currently the following are your best bases for a successful defence in the unlikely event of prosecution:
1. that the location was sufficiently isolated that you felt you had a reasonable expectation of privacy. This point has already been established in law as a legal defence; and
2. that you did not intend to insult or offend any person and either covered up or offered to do so.

Women who choose to hike topless are breaking no law.  This has been affirmed in principle by the Ontario courts and upheld in the courts of British Columbia.  In keeping with the Common Law the same should hold true in all provinces except, perhaps, Québec, which has a different legal foundation.

LOCATIONS

Plan your hike carefully.  If you do not know the area in which you intend to hike check it out on a good topographical map, then on Google Earth.  If possible look it up in the most recent edition of Hiking Trails of New Brunswick by Eiselt & Eiselt.  Time spent on reconnaisance and planning is NEVER wasted.  Make your plan, rehearse it in your mind and with everyone else in your group.

DO NOT hike close to inhabited areas.

Know the route, the access points, the relative frequency of usage.

Use trail maps of the area if they are available.

Long horizons and open spaces are good but be aware of your environment and be prepared to react appropriately.

Once you have found a reasonably workable area for naked hiking DO NOT BLAB it all over the internet or you will no longer have it.  Feel free to share the information with friends whom you actually know IN PERSON – imaginary friends on Facebook don’t count.

BEHAVIOUR

On arrival at the access point if the parking lot has several cars in it be aware that you are not alone on the trail. You might want to reconsider the project for the day.

If the parking lot is empty and the trail is a single track in and out, you’re likely golden on the outbound leg; use greater caution on the return trip.

If the parking lot is empty and the trail is a single loop in and out you’re likely golden as far as the midpoint; use more caution on the back half of the route.

Act naturally!  What you are doing is perfectly natural, just somewhat unusual.  If you can think outside the box you can live outside the clothes.

Be polite. There are two universally polite greetings along the trail: “Good morning” and “Good afternoon” – being naked does not change this.

If someone says something ignorant to you gently return the favour by ignoring them.  DO NOT engage in a slanging match.

DO NOT annoy the textiles!  Cover up when you have time to do so.

When you don’t have time to cover up step off the trail and put a respectful distance between yourself and the textiles.

Watch your back, so to speak, check your back trail from time to time in case there is a troop of Girl Guides or a hungry bear coming up from behind.

Don’t annoy the bears either, ditto all other wildlife.

Be mindful of your surroundings.  Keep your eyes open and your ears too.  This is no less important when hiking clothed as naked.  When you are in the forest and you hear the approach of hoofbeats moose are far more probable than horses.

Keep your eyes on the trail ahead.  Be aware of your “meeting distance” – the farther you can see down the trail the more time you have to react to someone coming toward you. 

Meeting distance is also important when encountering wildlife.  Bears and moose are not uncommon, coyotes somewhat less so and cougars are rare but not unknown – know how to deal with all of them.

If you do ‘get caught’ don’t worry too much about it, it is a very strange naturist who objects to being seen naked.  Offer to cover up and if the textiles decline your kind offer just keep calm and carry on.  If they show an interest in naturism stay and talk to them, maybe you can convert them, or at least plant a seed of the idea.  Consider this to be evangelization among the clothen . . . never miss an opportunity to recruit new naturists.

Anything that you take into the forest with you should leave with you.  Don’t throw your crap into the forest!  Feel free to pick up and pack out crap left by morons.

EQUIPMENT

Some free-hikers insist that the only way to hike truly naked is to do so barefoot and without a pack.  There is a word for this.  That word is STUPID.

Carry a pack with some reasonable survival equipment and supplies in it, just as you would for any hike.  Include an Ace bandage or two against the possibility of a sprain. 

If you do not know what constitutes reasonable equipment and supplies DO NOT go hiking, regardless of your wardrobe choice, until such time as you learn.

DO NOT hike without something at hand with which to cover up quickly.  A hiking kilt is a good choice.  Remember, 'a man in a kilt is a man and a half.'

DO NOT think that you can somehow wriggle your legs into a pair of tight shorts in quick time.  More likely you’ll end up arse-first on the ground with your shorts caught on one knee and the other boot.  This is not an edifying sight but it is funny for spectators.

DO NOT hike barefoot!  No matter what the so-called free-hiking purists say hiking barefoot is deeply, dangerously, irretrievably STUPID.  If you injure your feet at some point distant from your car you have a long and painful hobble ahead of you.

Always carry a hiking staff or a reasonable facsimile thereof.  Collapsible nordic hiking poles are NOT a reasonable facsimile, they are useless crap as they will likely collapse just when you need them.  I carry a walking axe most times.  If I plan to go stream walking I bring a two metre long staff instead. 

SUMMARY

So those are my own rules, so far at least.  Who knows what new rules might be added with further experience.

Get naked, keep calm and have fun.

Free Range Naturist Hiking – Part A

A

“A” is for Active . . . Active Naturism or, as Richard Foley would have it, “Naktiv” – but since Naktiv starts with an “N” let’s forget it for the moment.

“A” is also for Autumn.  That is what the season is at the moment and so far it has been a pretty good one.  I would opine that it has been Awesome (because that starts with “A” too, but no one beyond the age of fifteen should be caught dead using that word.

Autumn is a good time for Active Naturism.  Why?  Because there are far fewer mosquitoes, blackflies and other sorts of annoyances.  It is also a time when the tourist count is low and the temperature (17-20 degrees Celsius / 63-68 Fahrenheit) is perfect for strenuous hiking . . . in my opinion.

But . . . Autumn is also hunting season, a time when the well-tanned naturist hiker should curtail activities likely to end with being mistaken for a moose, and shot. It is time to practise safe hiking.  (Safety note: Leave your moose antler hat at home no matter how cute it is.  And your backback, get one that is day-glo orange, or get an orange cover for the pack you have now.)
 

This tends to limit one’s outings to the provincial and national parks where hunting is forbidden.  Here in New Brunswick that means, mostly at least, the Fundy Trail and Parkway and the National Parks.  (Scheduling note: Fundy Trail and Parkway is closed for the season as of 12 October.  Hikers and bicyclists may park outside the gate and enter.  There will probably still be workmen around here and there.)  Take note that neither category of park is clothing-optional.  That aside, they are certainly large enough to accommodate a little free-range naturist activity and I have met other naked hikers in both sorts of parks at various times.

The parks are great for other reasons.  They have prepared trails that are well mapped and well marked.  They have parking and they often have toilet facilities at the trailhead.  And Autumn is great for other reasons.  The air is bracing and the colours are gorgeous . . . well, usually; more about that below.  Just use some common sense, common courtesy and the usual precautions.  If the parking lot is jammed with other vehicles the trail connected to it probably isn’t a good bet.  If you meet someone along the way step off the trail a don’t make a point of exerting your nudity.  Most people I’ve met have never seemed to mind.

An island in the lake at the trailhead

I set off of an Autumn Activity yesterday and headed to one of the national parks.  On arrival at the parking lot there was one other vehicle present, a camper with Québec plates.  I shouldered my day pack, slung my camera and headed off in quest of photos of Autumn foliage . . . unfortunately I had picked a bad day for it.  Once out of easy sight of the road I stripped off and went cheerily on my way and about ten minutes later happened upon the Québec couple stopped by the side of the trail on their return trip.  He was still starkers but she, a little chilly, was shifting into her kit so I just came on the way I was.  We exchanged the friendly greetings of kindred spirits and they assured me that the trail ahead was in fine shape.

The sun-dappled, leaf spangled trail beckons

So it was.  The streams and brooks were still running high but were no longer in spate from the 10 to 17 cms of rain we’d had last week.  Still, you could certainly see where the water had washed over the trail in places.  As for the object of my photographic quest, things were not good.  There was very little Autumn foliage worthy of the name.   Almost all was still green and summer-like, the leaves protected by mutual support within the forest canopy.  True, a few frosty nights had tinted some exposed trees beside the highway and others had shifted into their Autumn wardrobe due to stress, but for the most part the forest was still very green . . . on October 6 no less.  See for yourself:

Look ma, no autumn colours

. . . and in a leafy woodland glade no sign of yellow, orange or red

But all was not lost, it was an excellent day for naked hiking.  Keeping up a good pace I was sweating freely on the upward inclines of the trail and the air was evaporating it to leave me dry and comfortable.  Along the course of the trail these were the only hints of colour to be found, very disappointing:

. . . not much colour . . . not my fault

I walked to the end of the easy part of the trail, about 4.5 kms, the point where the trail loses its prepared nature and plunges downward along narrow and slithery switchbacks, then turned about and headed back the way I’d come.  I was nearly back to the “get dressed” line when I met a couple of hikers, twenty-something guys, stopped to adjust their gear.  Unseen, I slipped into my shorts and forged onward until they registered their surprise at seeing me . . . good thing I wasn't a bear.  They were equipped like an Everest expedition and clad in the numerous layers of PolarTec and GoreTex.  I would have died with that much kit on!  What were they going to do when it got cold?  I stopped and we discussed the trail.  They, wondering, asked if I was cold.  Hmm . . . two solitudes.  I told them “Heck no, usually I don’t wear this much.  Try it some time; you’ll like it.”

I’ll have to go search for Autumn leaves some other day, maybe drive northward somewhat.

The Nudist Dictionary

The Nudist Dictionary, that’s what the Young Naturists of America web page claims it has.  But the definitions on that website are either inadequate dictionary entries or entirely idiosyncratic.  Some bear little relationship to reality, some are contradictory and at least one is just plain silly.

But this is not a rant against the YNA; far from it.  I wish them success in what they are attempting to do.  From what I’ve heard they have organized some very good events and anything they can do of a positive nature to address the body image issues rife within North American society would be a victory for common sense.

The YNA writer starts off with a questionable definition of nudism borrowed from dictionary.com:  Nudism – The belief in or practice of going nude, especially in secluded, gender-mixed groups for reasons of health.   Then they eschew dictionary.com when it comes to defining naturism and switch to the new Oxford dictionary which yields:  Naturism – The practice of going naked in designated areas.   I take issue with both definitions.  The use of the words secluded and designated reads like the dictionaries are subsidiaries of the AANR and the old model for nude recreation.

Now done with dictionaries, the YNA writer is off into the realms of the upper air to define other terms without adding the important caveat “in our opinion:”
Nudist – A Nudist is a person who enjoys nonsexual nude recreation and social nude activities in sanctioned public locations and / or in private ones.
Naturist – A Naturist is a person who enjoys nonsexual nude recreation and social nude activities with a major focus of interest on those activities that take place outdoors, in nature and/or on public land. This group also believes that Naturism and environmental issues are intertwined.
Nudie – We also understand that there are some people who don’t like labels and especially hate the old world terms of nudist and naturist.  Therefore we came up with a third category for such nude-friendly people – Nudie.

What can I say?  Quite a bit, actually but, caveat emptor, these are my own opinions, your mileage may vary.

Naked (adj) – entirely unclothed (in my opinion hats and footwear don’t count as clothing)

Nakie (adj) (joc / infant) – naked

Nude (n) – (1) a naked person, (2) a work of art depicting (1); also (adj) – naked
 
Nudist (n) – (1) “an adherent of the cult of the nude” [NOED definition – not very helpful], (2) a person who likes to be naked just because it feels right, moral, comfortable and/or natural and who follows this lifestyle choice, whether alone or in groups with the awareness that nudism is non-sexualized nudity. In my own opinion, a person can be a real nudist and still not be a naturist.  Many people who are comfortable being naked in private or semi-private cannot manage the evolution necessary to become naturists – i.e. social nudists – fully comfortable with being naked in the presence of strangers.

Naturism (n) – “a lifestyle in harmony with nature, expressed through social nudity, and characterized by self-respect of people with different opinions and of the environment.” [INF definition – authoritative]  But naturism doesn’t end there.  Naturism is a house of many mansions: some segments among Christians, Jews, Neo-Druids, Wiccans, vegans, anarchists, teetotallers, fitness seekers, smoothies, naturals, transcendentalists, pacifists and others claim their own patch within naturism but none of them own the term naturist.  Still, it doesn’t stop the uninitiated from getting into arguments about what constitutes real naturism.

Naturist (n) a nudist who ascribes certain societal principles and ideals to being naked as part of a social group, particularly those aspects of the lifestyle enumerated within the INF definition, and who as a matter of principle becomes involved with naturist society.  See above for some of the sub-genres one might adhere to . . . or not.

Nudie (n) – a young person who likes to be naked but who purports to dislike labels (because that is a big deal these days) so, instead of self-identifying with the existing labels nudist or naturist, adopts the label nudie instead, thereby demonstrating a complete non-comprehension of irony

And I’ll toss in this definition of swinger because the ignoranti among the Clothen are often of the opinion that nudists/naturists are constantly involved in orgies of some sort:

Swinger (n) – (1) a label adopted by sexual libertines seeking to avoid the negative connotations of being labeled as libertines,  (2) a person, either married or unmarried, who engages in social and recreational sex with numerous partners, sometimes of either or both genders, often as a form of performance art – in other words, a sexual libertine.  Swingers/libertines are neither nudists nor naturists but sometimes try to infiltrate nudist/naturist society as they do not understand the fundamental differences between the two lifestyles.

Moving along from the tawdry side of things to the sublime:

Free range naturism (n) – according to Stuart and Karla, the very articulate gurus of the genre at http://freerangenaturism.com/  free range naturism is “naturism without walls, away from the fences and gates of the traditional club, set loose to run free in the wilds.”  That works for me.  Free range naturism is naturism wherever innocent public nudity is tolerated or, failing that, wherever you can get away with it.  That can be on an isolated beach, a mountain trail or in the forest, on private or public land, but not confined to private clubs where one must pay for the privilege of being a natural human.  Free range naturism is the polar opposite of “beached and clubbed” naturism and, I’m happy to own, my preferred form of naturism since I was a teenager, rather longer than Stuart and Karla have been at it.  I used to refer to it as free roaming naturism until 2000 when I saw the animated film “Chicken Run” and switched my terminology.  Imagine my surprise when I happened upon a website with the name Free Range Naturism. 

Free-Ranger (n) – a proponent of free range naturism

Free Hiker (n) –  a person who hikes naked

Free Beach (n) – a public beach at which nudity is accepted

Naktiv (adj) – a portmanteau word coined by Richard Foley to promote naktivism, a form of naturism that combines the idea of being naked with the idea of rather more strenuous physical activity than pickle ball.  Naktivism is another take on free range naturism and is perhaps best known for its signature event, the N.E.W.T. – the Naked European Walking Tour.  For more info google “naktiv”

Textile (n) – longstanding naturist common coinage for a person who is clothed and who cannot (as yet) make the transition to nudism or naturism [compare with “Gentile” as an outsider to the chosen people] – held by some to be a pejorative term; also useable as an adjective, e.g. “textile attitudes”

Clothen (n) – [this is my own coinage, modeled on the word “heathen” to denote a person or persons who does not subscribe to a widely held precepts of naturism, as regarded by those who do] – a person who is clothed and who cannot (as yet) make the transition to nudism or naturism; also useable as an adjective;  also useable as an adjective in the same manner as "textile"

All this said, this is NOT a definitive naturists dictionary.  The fact is that there isn’t such a thing.  No doubt some people will disagree with my definitions, and that is their right.  Definitions for some of these terms are difficult to pin down in that they are not truly definitive, merely guidelines.  Concepts change over time and from place to place.  In Britain my definitions of nudist and naturist would have more traction than they would in the USA where the two words are most often used as synonyms . . . at least by persons not claiming to be nudies.