RULES FOR HIKING NAKED

I was asked in a semi-oblique way to explain about hiking naked.  Some people have a great amount of trepidation about hiking naked – the fear of 'getting caught,' among other things.  So I have decided to write down my own rules for hiking naked.  Please bear in mind that these are my rules, not THE RULES, and you are not governed by them unless you choose to be.  So they are not rules per se, they are more like guidelines.  Feel free to adopt any or all of them, but when you are done they will be your rules, not mine.

MAXIM

If God had wanted humankind to be naked we would have been born that way.

 GENERAL

Get naked, keep calm and have fun.

The purpose of hiking is to hike, to get out in the open air and expose yourself to the natural world, to see a new trail or revisit an old one.  It is just a hike and, hopefully, not an adventure.  For most guys, whether or not we are honest enough to admit it, true adventure requires an even chance of death – sort of like any visit to the United States these days.  Women are usually much smarter about such matters.

The purpose of hiking naked is to maximize your own personal freedom and to be closer to nature.  Its purpose IS NOT to shock, dismay, annoy or alarm non-naturists.

DO NOT hike naked in hunting season.

Numbers matter.  Numbers are self-validating.  Hiking as a couple or in a group is far better than hiking alone.  Hiking in a mixed group is by far the best option.  There is a calculus of suspicion within the minds of non-naturists that runs something like this:

    – one man hiking naked alone is a pervert of some kind
    – two men hiking naked are gay
    – a group of men hiking naked are probably a gay gang
    – one woman hiking naked alone is a target for harassment or worse
    – two women hiking naked are much less of a target for harassment
    – a group of women hiking naked are far less of a target for harassment
    – a mixed gender couple hiking naked is self-validating and not dangerous
    – a mixed gender group hiking naked is self-validating and not dangerous

In terms of traffic volume on the trails weekdays are far better than weekends.  Holiday weekends during school vacation are the worst possible times to hike naked.

THE LAW

I am not a lawyer.  The following two observations are, I believe, correct.  They do not constitute legal advice.  If you want legal advice go to a lawyer.

Under Canadian law as it exists currently the following are your best bases for a successful defence in the unlikely event of prosecution:
1. that the location was sufficiently isolated that you felt you had a reasonable expectation of privacy. This point has already been established in law as a legal defence; and
2. that you did not intend to insult or offend any person and either covered up or offered to do so.

Women who choose to hike topless are breaking no law.  This has been affirmed in principle by the Ontario courts and upheld in the courts of British Columbia.  In keeping with the Common Law the same should hold true in all provinces except, perhaps, Québec, which has a different legal foundation.

LOCATIONS

Plan your hike carefully.  If you do not know the area in which you intend to hike check it out on a good topographical map, then on Google Earth.  If possible look it up in the most recent edition of Hiking Trails of New Brunswick by Eiselt & Eiselt.  Time spent on reconnaisance and planning is NEVER wasted.  Make your plan, rehearse it in your mind and with everyone else in your group.

DO NOT hike close to inhabited areas.

Know the route, the access points, the relative frequency of usage.

Use trail maps of the area if they are available.

Long horizons and open spaces are good but be aware of your environment and be prepared to react appropriately.

Once you have found a reasonably workable area for naked hiking DO NOT BLAB it all over the internet or you will no longer have it.  Feel free to share the information with friends whom you actually know IN PERSON – imaginary friends on Facebook don’t count.

BEHAVIOUR

On arrival at the access point if the parking lot has several cars in it be aware that you are not alone on the trail. You might want to reconsider the project for the day.

If the parking lot is empty and the trail is a single track in and out, you’re likely golden on the outbound leg; use greater caution on the return trip.

If the parking lot is empty and the trail is a single loop in and out you’re likely golden as far as the midpoint; use more caution on the back half of the route.

Act naturally!  What you are doing is perfectly natural, just somewhat unusual.  If you can think outside the box you can live outside the clothes.

Be polite. There are two universally polite greetings along the trail: “Good morning” and “Good afternoon” – being naked does not change this.

If someone says something ignorant to you gently return the favour by ignoring them.  DO NOT engage in a slanging match.

DO NOT annoy the textiles!  Cover up when you have time to do so.

When you don’t have time to cover up step off the trail and put a respectful distance between yourself and the textiles.

Watch your back, so to speak, check your back trail from time to time in case there is a troop of Girl Guides or a hungry bear coming up from behind.

Don’t annoy the bears either, ditto all other wildlife.

Be mindful of your surroundings.  Keep your eyes open and your ears too.  This is no less important when hiking clothed as naked.  When you are in the forest and you hear the approach of hoofbeats moose are far more probable than horses.

Keep your eyes on the trail ahead.  Be aware of your “meeting distance” – the farther you can see down the trail the more time you have to react to someone coming toward you. 

Meeting distance is also important when encountering wildlife.  Bears and moose are not uncommon, coyotes somewhat less so and cougars are rare but not unknown – know how to deal with all of them.

If you do ‘get caught’ don’t worry too much about it, it is a very strange naturist who objects to being seen naked.  Offer to cover up and if the textiles decline your kind offer just keep calm and carry on.  If they show an interest in naturism stay and talk to them, maybe you can convert them, or at least plant a seed of the idea.  Consider this to be evangelization among the clothen . . . never miss an opportunity to recruit new naturists.

Anything that you take into the forest with you should leave with you.  Don’t throw your crap into the forest!  Feel free to pick up and pack out crap left by morons.

EQUIPMENT

Some free-hikers insist that the only way to hike truly naked is to do so barefoot and without a pack.  There is a word for this.  That word is STUPID.

Carry a pack with some reasonable survival equipment and supplies in it, just as you would for any hike.  Include an Ace bandage or two against the possibility of a sprain. 

If you do not know what constitutes reasonable equipment and supplies DO NOT go hiking, regardless of your wardrobe choice, until such time as you learn.

DO NOT hike without something at hand with which to cover up quickly.  A hiking kilt is a good choice.  Remember, 'a man in a kilt is a man and a half.'

DO NOT think that you can somehow wriggle your legs into a pair of tight shorts in quick time.  More likely you’ll end up arse-first on the ground with your shorts caught on one knee and the other boot.  This is not an edifying sight but it is funny for spectators.

DO NOT hike barefoot!  No matter what the so-called free-hiking purists say hiking barefoot is deeply, dangerously, irretrievably STUPID.  If you injure your feet at some point distant from your car you have a long and painful hobble ahead of you.

Always carry a hiking staff or a reasonable facsimile thereof.  Collapsible nordic hiking poles are NOT a reasonable facsimile, they are useless crap as they will likely collapse just when you need them.  I carry a walking axe most times.  If I plan to go stream walking I bring a two metre long staff instead. 

SUMMARY

So those are my own rules, so far at least.  Who knows what new rules might be added with further experience.

Get naked, keep calm and have fun.

THREE DAYS OF NUDENESS

During the past three days I have been trying to make up for my low level of nude recreation so far this summer.  The lack of activity wasn’t my fault, it was imposed by the weather. Yes, I’ve made a few trips to Kellys Beach and other places but I usually try to get in more nude time than that.  So it was high time to make up for lost time.

On Wednesday I took off for a stream not too distant from home for a combination of stream walking (see my earlier post on this topic), fishing, swimming and tanning.  I had finished my lawn repairs the previous day (eight tons of topsoil wheelbarrowed around the yard to be spread and seeded) so I gifted myself with a day off.  If you’ve never gone fishing naked you should add it to you list of possibilities. (Helpful hint: watch out for your back cast.)

It was a beautiful day all way around: warm and sunny without being oppressively hot, the relative humidity was quite low and to top it off there was a nice breeze. Once at the stream I worked my way up the current, pausing to fish for awhile at each pool along the way but catching only one unlucky perch.  It must have been hungry because I was using a bare hook, and an barbless one at that.  After all, the purpose of going fishing is not necessarily to catch fish.  Sometimes it is just about getting out into the great outdoors and getting in touch with nature.  With this in mind I said “Hi!” to the perch, carefully removed the hook and placed the fish back into the stream, probably none the wiser for its ordeal.  Farther on a small sunfish was unhappily marooned in a shrinking puddle cut off from the rest of the creek.  With no small difficulty this fish was scooped up in my hat and liberated into the flowing water.  (It was Good Samaritan day you see.)  Finally I reached the pool I was headed for and lo, there was a big trout in it.  I could tell because as I stood in the shallows looking down into the water, it was stationary in the current looking up at me.  No, really!  Here was this trout, about eight or nine inches long, the ruler of this little stretch of the stream, calmly contemplating the sole angler around for miles.  Somehow I sensed that I had lost the element of surprise with this trout.  Besides, there seemed to be only one trout and there was no point in bringing home just one fish.  It takes a minimum of two of that size to make a decent meal.  I told him to relax and put my spinning rod away.

Did I mention the water?  Yes, it was at summer low but that has the effect of letting the sun warm it all the faster.  It wasn’t even slightly chilly, a fact emphasized by my standing waist deep in the pool without the slightest shiver.  So, fishing was cancelled and replaced by swimming, making the day a three-for-one.  (The trout didn’t seem to mind sharing the pool.)  After the swim I had a bit of a lie-out on the little sand beach beside the pool in order to increase my store of vitamin D.  This made the day a four-for-one, plus bonus points for the lack of mosquitoes. All in all, not too shabby a day.



On Thursday, it too being a beautiful day, I headed to the Fundy Footpath for a spot of hiking.  I also wanted to check out what has happened to Long Beach, formerly an unofficial but often-used nudist beach.  That was the bad news for the day!  Long Beach, formerly accessible solely by the footpath or creative bushwhacking, now has parkway access, two parking lots, toilets, two scenic lookoffs and rank upon rank of picnic tables.  The Fundy Trail & Parkway folks must think that they’re going to bring in bus tours of beachgoers.  As if!  Just wait until the first tourist dunks a pinkie toe into the Bay of Fundy and learns how cold the water is – that will put paid to great expectations about the beach.  But in the meantime, barring some sort of agreement with the FT&P authorities, Long Beach has been lost for nudist recreation.

Having gotten the skinny on Long Beach I caught the trailhead for the Fundy Footpath there and hiked away eastward to Seely Beach, formerly stop #2 on the Footpath.  Seely Beach used to be a popular campsite among the ATV set and was accessible via the old – and I do mean OLD! – road that eventually connected to the Big Salmon River Road.  More on this later.

The section of the Fundy Footpath from Long Beach to Seely Beach is just about 4 kms in length, passes through challenging terrain, and is in infinitely better condition than the section from the Big Salmon River to Long Beach.  I have hiked both sections this year and the BSR-LB leg can best be described as sad, bad and difficult.  The LB-SB leg is, by comparison, mostly quite pleasant, even where it requires some tricky footwork.  But make no mistake about it, the Fundy Footpath is not a walk in the park.  It is a genuine unimproved wilderness trail and, you know, I like it that way.  It is impossible for bicycles, ATVs and horses.

The Fundy Footpath is not to be confused with the Fundy Trail, which more or less follows the course of the Fundy Parkway lying between the gate and the Big Salmon River.  The Fundy Trail is a nice walk in the woods, but it is a (relatively) wide, groomed multi-purpose trail through a tamed forest.  Baby carriages can be pushed along the Trail; the Footpath beyond Long Beach is definitely PG13 at minimum. 

One does not meet kids on the Footpath and maybe that is one of the reasons it is popular with nude hikers.  I’ve hiked one or more sections of the Footpath every year for the past nineteen and I’ve usually encountered one or more people along the way.  I’ve been keeping a rough tally of the wardrobe choices of the other hikers and, so far at least, the ratio of clothed to naked is about 3:2.  Of those who are clothed, none have shown any problem meeting those who are naked.  I wonder if these stats would remain consistent if one could account for each and every hiker on every good day.  I’d like to think so.  I believe that people who go off hiking in the wild are far more broad-minded than the average urbanite.
But why do we do it?  I mean, of course, why do we hike naked?  Someone on a naked hiking forum – a new guy of course – recently stated that he did it because he is sexually excited    by it.  Really?!?!?  How pathetic is that!  Others on the forum did not agree with him and he skulked away.

Why do I do it?  Well, truthfully, I do it for a variety of reasons and the number of reasons has expanded over the years.  The top two reasons have always been “to be closer to nature” and “freedom,” or so I used to state as my default explanation.  But there has always been the need to prove to myself that I was comfortable within my own skin.  Oh sure, there are a lot of other valid reasons related to health and fitness but bigots among the clothen usually have counter arguments at hand for those.  On further examination “comfort” is an issue, as is “stress relief.”  I figured out the first one all on my own but the thought about stress relief was pointed out to me by a woman at Kellys a few weeks ago.  “This is great,” she said, “no stress at all.”  The more I thought about that statement, the more I realized it was true.  Great!  One cannot have too many good reasons for doing a good thing.

In the past few years I have been able to say quite honestly that I do it for religious reasons as well, for I have concluded that unless one can fully accept one’s natural self as it is – one’s full humanity – once can never reasonably contemplate either God or another human being.  (If you’re not inclined to believe in God substitute “nature.”) So you might say that I do it, in part at least, to follow the dictum “Know thyself.”  I can think of no better reason.
                                       
And oh yes, the Seely Beach Road – see, I told you I’d get back to it.  As previously noted, in former times it connected Seely Beach to the Big Salmon River Road – it doesn’t do this anymore.  It has now been cut off by the extension of the Fundy Parkway and the days of ATV outings to Seely Beach are a thing of the past.  Yay!

The road itself is just the right width to accommodate ATVs and Jeeps – real Jeeps like M-38s, CJ5s, CJ7s and YJs, not the bloated luxomobiles Jeep now sells – but only for one-way traffic.  Unless I miss my guess this little road predates the internal combustion engine and was built for use by horses, a relic of the times when men were men and sheep were nervous.  The road is to my mind a little marvel of human endeavour, built by the sweat of men and horse gouging out and backfilling a 700 metre long diagonal course along the slope, rising 144 metres from the beach to where is now meets the parkway.  (That is a 20% grade, by the way – pity the poor horses.)  Parts of the road are now severely washed out and there is no bridge over the small brook at the bottom. (Bridge?  Horses don’t need no steenking bridges for so small a brook.) 

From the looks of things up at the parkway there is no immediate plan to rehab the Seely Beach Road as anything.  I really hope this is true because it means that Seely Beach will be left out “in the wild” and will remain a nudist-friendly beach and campsite on the Footpath.  On the other hand, since the Fundy Trail & Parkway has (in my opinion) so far ruined every other beach along their shore maybe the days of Seely Beach in the wild are also numbered.  That would be a real pity.  Use it while you still can.  So ended day number two.


Friday was another beautiful day for nude recreation, this time on bicycle as I continue to “train” for the Halifax Naked Bike Ride.  Anyway, that is what I told myself.  Having now seen the planned route for the ride I’m growing iffy about participating.  But in the meantime I loaded my bike onto the car and headed back to the Fundy Parkway, not to ride there but because it provides easy access to the Big Salmon River Road, the backbone of a more or less empty network of well-graded woods roads.

I had the place to myself – didn’t see another person once I left the parking lot.  But I did see plenty of wildlife, which is usually nice, sometimes a bit surprising.  Besides the smaller folk – red squirrels, hares and a groundhog – I also saw a pair beavers busily working on their dam.  Then there were two separate deer sightings, something that is no big deal because I see them in my front yard every morning.  More of a surprise was Mama Bear with twin cubs, seen at a non-threatening distance and therefore of no particular concern.  No, the concern came about when I was rocketing full tilt downhill on a dirt road when I found myself headed for a very tall bull moose standing beside the road staring at my approach.  All I could do was veer to the opposite side of the very narrow road and hope for the best.  Luckily, he blinked first and sloped off with a clatter to vanish into the nearby wood line.  All the same, it did get the old heart pumping doubletime for a few seconds.  All of the aforementioned animals looked sleek and well fed, and as the road is comfortably distant from any urban areas that means the forest is producing plenty of food.

The other animal life that was present in abundance out there were frogs, hundreds, more probably thousands of bullfrogs and leopard frogs staking out the best corners of several ponds and calling for prospective mates.  Every pond I stopped at was well populated by the not-so-little guys and I take that as a very good sign because they had seemed to be in rather short supply for a few years.  Ecologists consider them a bellwether species for determining the health of an ecosystem so it was nice to see them in abundance.

I pedaled eastward for a couple of hours, then turned about and retraced my route back to my car, keeping careful watch for bears and moose.  Seeing none this time.  All in all, another great day to be naked outdoors.

Free Range Naturist Hiking – Part A

A

“A” is for Active . . . Active Naturism or, as Richard Foley would have it, “Naktiv” – but since Naktiv starts with an “N” let’s forget it for the moment.

“A” is also for Autumn.  That is what the season is at the moment and so far it has been a pretty good one.  I would opine that it has been Awesome (because that starts with “A” too, but no one beyond the age of fifteen should be caught dead using that word.

Autumn is a good time for Active Naturism.  Why?  Because there are far fewer mosquitoes, blackflies and other sorts of annoyances.  It is also a time when the tourist count is low and the temperature (17-20 degrees Celsius / 63-68 Fahrenheit) is perfect for strenuous hiking . . . in my opinion.

But . . . Autumn is also hunting season, a time when the well-tanned naturist hiker should curtail activities likely to end with being mistaken for a moose, and shot. It is time to practise safe hiking.  (Safety note: Leave your moose antler hat at home no matter how cute it is.  And your backback, get one that is day-glo orange, or get an orange cover for the pack you have now.)
 

This tends to limit one’s outings to the provincial and national parks where hunting is forbidden.  Here in New Brunswick that means, mostly at least, the Fundy Trail and Parkway and the National Parks.  (Scheduling note: Fundy Trail and Parkway is closed for the season as of 12 October.  Hikers and bicyclists may park outside the gate and enter.  There will probably still be workmen around here and there.)  Take note that neither category of park is clothing-optional.  That aside, they are certainly large enough to accommodate a little free-range naturist activity and I have met other naked hikers in both sorts of parks at various times.

The parks are great for other reasons.  They have prepared trails that are well mapped and well marked.  They have parking and they often have toilet facilities at the trailhead.  And Autumn is great for other reasons.  The air is bracing and the colours are gorgeous . . . well, usually; more about that below.  Just use some common sense, common courtesy and the usual precautions.  If the parking lot is jammed with other vehicles the trail connected to it probably isn’t a good bet.  If you meet someone along the way step off the trail a don’t make a point of exerting your nudity.  Most people I’ve met have never seemed to mind.

An island in the lake at the trailhead

I set off of an Autumn Activity yesterday and headed to one of the national parks.  On arrival at the parking lot there was one other vehicle present, a camper with Québec plates.  I shouldered my day pack, slung my camera and headed off in quest of photos of Autumn foliage . . . unfortunately I had picked a bad day for it.  Once out of easy sight of the road I stripped off and went cheerily on my way and about ten minutes later happened upon the Québec couple stopped by the side of the trail on their return trip.  He was still starkers but she, a little chilly, was shifting into her kit so I just came on the way I was.  We exchanged the friendly greetings of kindred spirits and they assured me that the trail ahead was in fine shape.

The sun-dappled, leaf spangled trail beckons

So it was.  The streams and brooks were still running high but were no longer in spate from the 10 to 17 cms of rain we’d had last week.  Still, you could certainly see where the water had washed over the trail in places.  As for the object of my photographic quest, things were not good.  There was very little Autumn foliage worthy of the name.   Almost all was still green and summer-like, the leaves protected by mutual support within the forest canopy.  True, a few frosty nights had tinted some exposed trees beside the highway and others had shifted into their Autumn wardrobe due to stress, but for the most part the forest was still very green . . . on October 6 no less.  See for yourself:

Look ma, no autumn colours

. . . and in a leafy woodland glade no sign of yellow, orange or red

But all was not lost, it was an excellent day for naked hiking.  Keeping up a good pace I was sweating freely on the upward inclines of the trail and the air was evaporating it to leave me dry and comfortable.  Along the course of the trail these were the only hints of colour to be found, very disappointing:

. . . not much colour . . . not my fault

I walked to the end of the easy part of the trail, about 4.5 kms, the point where the trail loses its prepared nature and plunges downward along narrow and slithery switchbacks, then turned about and headed back the way I’d come.  I was nearly back to the “get dressed” line when I met a couple of hikers, twenty-something guys, stopped to adjust their gear.  Unseen, I slipped into my shorts and forged onward until they registered their surprise at seeing me . . . good thing I wasn't a bear.  They were equipped like an Everest expedition and clad in the numerous layers of PolarTec and GoreTex.  I would have died with that much kit on!  What were they going to do when it got cold?  I stopped and we discussed the trail.  They, wondering, asked if I was cold.  Hmm . . . two solitudes.  I told them “Heck no, usually I don’t wear this much.  Try it some time; you’ll like it.”

I’ll have to go search for Autumn leaves some other day, maybe drive northward somewhat.

Rail-lining

Once upon a time, many long ages ago, when Detroit dinosaurs ruled the Earth, this province was chockablock with railway lines.  You could go nearly anywhere in the province by railway and the train staff was usually pleased to stop their iron horse to let you dismount where and when you wished.  People used to go fishing by train, simply telling the conductor what stream they wanted to get off at and that was that.  A returning train late in the day was flagged down and home they went.  These days are gone now, and never will return.  I can do without the Detroit dinosaurs but I most assuredly miss the trains.

This map, adapted from the NB Railway Museum, shows most of the historical NB railway lines

What we have now is a few active subdivisions of the CNR, the NB Southern Railway, too damned few passenger trains, and a lot of abandoned railway lines.  Most of the right-of-way for the lines abandoned during the last few decades has been converted into multi-use trails.  Some, sadly, have been abandoned to nature and it is now almost impossible to follow their course.  However, as you can see from comparing the two maps, there are now a lot of remote trails to hike.

Today's sad remnant

Railway lines make good places for naked hiking, it gives new meaning to the term "train buff."  The rail lines are good for a variety of reasons, first and foremost, they usually run for miles through the middle of nowhere so the chances of being seen and complained about are pretty minimal.  They also cross rivers and streams where you can fish or swim.  Also, being rail lines, they always have an easy grade so hills are at an absolute minimum, making them good for bicycling too.  Those rail lines that have been converted into multi-use trails usually have pretty good going wherever they haven’t been trashed by ATVs.  The lost and forlorn lines are more likely to be trashed but even the improved trails can suffer badly from heavy ATV use, whether from being rutted, or turned into mud holes, or desecrated by litter.  Even so, they are a good bet for all the reasons at the beginning of this paragraph.

Active railway lines are not good bets for naked hiking, not even for shorter hikes.  I DO NOT advocate hiking on active rail lines.  Why not?  Secondarily, because it is trespassing on railway property and some of their employees can get quite cranky about that.  But first and foremost, because it is dangerous.  Railway lines have a bad reputation for being inhabited by great thundering steel monsters that weigh a gazillion tons and simply can’t stop with any degree of ease.  Meddle not in the affairs of speeding steel monsters, for you are fragile and squishy, and they are not.

But . . . if you do decide to hike along an active railway for goodness sake keep your eyes open well in the distance ahead and look behind you every couple of minutes so the train doesn’t sneak up on you.  If you do both these things you will see the train long before the engineer sees you – those four big 200k candlepower headlights cannot be missed.  Then, get off the track immediately, far enough off the track that the engineer can’t see you and worry that you might fall in front of his train at the last minute.   Give him a break, it’s a stressful job.

Also, keep your ears open.  I can’t imagine why anyone would want to go for a hike in the wilds and then plug their earbuds in and listen to their MP3 player.  But people do it; I’ve seen it.  People have gotten run over by trains because of it.  The fact is that many people crank up their music to a level where they can no longer hear something so loud as a train horn -- 90 dB at 152 metres (500 feet).  How stupid is that ?!?!  Pretty stupid, and well deserving of a Darwin Award.

If you go hiking the train tracks (in Canada) a moderately active single line is going to look something like this, with shiny top surfaces on the rails and not much vegetation except a bit of grass or weeds growing on the railbed:

 
However, you are in luck if you know where to find a railway line that is out of use but not decommissioned.  Why lucky?  Because railway tracks still equipped with rails and ties make a very uncomfortable ATV trail so the ATVers go elsewhere.  Therefore hikers can have such rail lines all to themselves.  

Such a rail line is shown below, with rusted top surfaces on the rails and lots of vegetation such as bushes and berry canes growing up between the rails.  Note the encroachment on both sides of the right-of-way and the decrepit ties . . . all good signs.  (Caveat for US readers:  Some active US rail lines look far worse than that shown in the photo below -- don't be fooled by a railway with crappy maintenance.)

No, those signs weren't really there, I added them

If you’ve got one of these lines at your disposal you’re golden.  Check it out on Google Earth so you know what to expect all the way down the line, especially at road crossings, if any.

Most important, have fun!  And watch out for moose crossing the railroad.

Nude New River

 I went hiking a few days ago to explore the potential for stream walking in the upper reaches of the mighty New River.  The New is really more of a biggish stream than a river.  It rises in the uninhabited wilds of Clarendon Parish at the outflow of Adelaide Lake, then wends its way through forest and bog gathering along its course the waters of the Tamarack and several other brooks.  It meanders placidly much of the time but is given to pitching itself violently downslope wherever terrain allows, as it does on several occasions.  Finally it meets tidewater at New River Beach where it flows into the Bay of Fundy through a tangle of rapids and rocks.

My destination was one of the New’s scenes of violence, a set of continuous rapids between two placid pools, a pitch of about eleven metres vertical drop over a run of about four hundred metres, circled in yellow on the satellite photo below.  Being situated more or less in the middle of nowhere the falls’ name, if it has one, isn’t posted for the casual tourist.  I have asked locally and checked with Natural Resources but it seems to be a no-name feature.  For the moment it remains anonymous, a John Doe waterfall.

The head of the rapid looking upstream from Tanners Rocks

I had not seen the place before except from the vantage point of a satellite passing overhead – thanks to the CIA by way of Google Earth – so I chose my target the same way that SAC does, just not with the same grisly intent. The day was fine with high twenties (Celsius degrees of course) and a sky of sun-washed blue only lightly scattered with tiny clouds.  The drive to get there was easy enough: NB Hwy 1 West to Exit 86, then Hwy 175 to Hwy 780, then Hwy 780 for six kms to the crossroads with forest harvest Road #6.  Then it was hidey-ho, onward we go, over the dirt roads to wherever you'd like to go.  Caveat: Do not head out here with the family grocery-getter unless it has four-wheel drive, you’ll need the extra ground clearance. 

Actually, I halted about 150 metres or so short of the river bank where the road dead-ends.  In truth, it veers to the right and continues, but from that point it becomes more of a marsh than a road.  Beyond the dry end of the road there was nothing but forest, not even a game trail, so I bushwhacked my way through fern, scrub and riparian forest not bothering with a compass.  My ears were leading me straight to the sound of the unseen rapids.  On reaching the bank I found the river running high and fast due to recent rains, but it had obviously receded a metre or so in depth during the last few days.  You could see where patches of sedges had been combed flat by the flood and where the New River had, briefly at least, been twice the width I found it when my bushwhacking brought me to its rocky bank.  I had lucked out and had arrived quite by accident at the comfortably flat rocks near the top of the rapids. These are the only such rocks on the eastern bank along the run of this falls, all the rest are fractured with many exposed sharp edges, altogether not good for lounging or laying out to work on one’s tan.  Therefore I named the big smoothish rocks Tanners Rocks.

Tanners Rocks looking upstream

In my mind I divided the falls into three sections, from the upstream pool to the second drop past Tanners Rocks; then a dogleg stretch ending at the top of a final drop and the final drop itself.  From top to bottom is a run of about 420 metres, encompassing a total vertical drop of about thirteen metres.  

Split Falls looking downstream

I realized immediately that the potential for stream walking here was infinite, at that point where infinity approaches zero.  The New was too full, too deep and too fast for stream walking but it would be a great spot for creek kayaking or rafting with something the size of an Aire Puma.  A full-sized outfitter’s raft would be too big – I know; I used to be a raft guide.  This falls rates a solid Class III, probably a Class III+ because of the narrow channel, quick changes of direction and the near impossibility of either shore rescue or self-rescue.  Until you wash over the left drop of the final drop self-rescue by survival swimming is the sole option.  It is the sort of run that creek kayakers might do several times in a day, just for the fun of it.  But there is a problem with that concept, there is no riverside portage trail to hump your kayak back to the top of the run, not unless you’re a moose.  And the terrain is “difficult.” [I use “difficult” here as a euphemism for several other words that spring to mind and lip, none of which are polite.] There is also the problem of the put-in and take-out points.  Put-in at the upriver pond could be managed by some energetic souls hacking a trail through a scant sixty metres of bush.  Take-out exists nine hundred metres downstream on the left, just at the head of the next rapid and requires a 2.5 km shuttle over quite decent woods roads.  Both put-in and take-out will require humping the boats a couple of hundred metres.

Outflow from the eddy below Split Falls

Okay, so stream walking wasn’t an option here.  That really wasn’t that big a deal because the woods roads in the area make it a great place for free-range nude recreation: driving, hiking, camping, fishing and even bicycling . . . and skinnydipping.
 

Never overlook an opportunity for skinnydipping

And for the naturist naturalist there are many sights besides the flora.  In the space of five hours I saw hares, bears, beavers, moose and a young coyote, also many more frogs than I had seen in a long time.  All of this was free for the looking and free of any other person driving through.  Many of the roads out here are dead ends and that helps.  I walked about twelve kms in all, taking my time, walking in and out of sun and shade and thoroughly enjoying myself.  The only strenuous part of the trip had been the bushwhacking in the first instance and then breaking trail alongside the river.  After that it was a walk in the park, but a park of a very different sort.  The area is not parkland, it is a working forest with few areas unharvested except the riparian strips and inaccessible bogs.  Many areas are in various stages of regrowth and are provide wildlife habitat that old growth forest would have denied.  The ease of access and good footing is provided by all those dead-end harvest roads.  So if you go there consider the positive aspects along with the scars left by forestry and the powerline corridor.

But speaking of parks, a very nice thing about the area is that it is located close to New River Beach Provincial Park.  NRBPP is not a nudist recreation area -- which is really unfortunate but totally expected -- but it does have campsites for your tent or your land yacht, as well as a great saltwater beach.  So it provides a good base camp for your nude explorations of the New River back country.  Enjoy!