Wintertime Blues

Okay, we are officially in the depths of winter here and it is really, REALLY difficult to think of an appropriately naturist topic for this season.  Yeah, sure, we’ve passed the solstice – all hail Sol Invictus – and the days are growing progressively longer by a few minutes each day.  However there are still almost thirty days to go until All Marmots' Mass and who knows what news, good or bad,  the furry little fellow might bring for us.  Not that I put any particular stock in the idea of groundhogs as meteorological prognosticators but really, can they be any worse than the weathermen?  I think not!

About all I can do in a naturist way these days is to sweat in the sauna or sit by my fireplace toasting my buns and dreaming of warm, sunny days ahead.  Let’s not dwell on just how far ahead!  But that lack of options is why we need a real naturist club hereabouts.  Sure, a full-service resort would be just the ticket – maybe – but when you’re talking about that sort of thing you’re talking about major gelt, and not the kind that comes with a chocolate filling.

Barring a white knight with a disposable fortune to build such a place and be prepared to operate at a loss we must set our sights lower, on a non-landed club with a good enough organization and enough willing people that we could, for instance, rent a pool for an evening.  But given the level of enthusiasm demonstrated for forming such a club perhaps it is best to wait for the White Knight . . . or maybe the Mad Hatter.

Enter the Mad Hatter, stage left.  In the meantime, why not launch an assault on the bastions of power and suggest that permissive regulations for topless beach use by women and more limited nudist beach use by all might give the province a competitive advantage in the tourism market.  Hey, why not?  A few thousand more visitors per summer month would surely be welcomed by our tourism sector and every dollar put through their cash registers means more tax money for the government – that’s the carrot.  Unfortunately I don’t have a stick to go with it.

It really isn’t that big a deal if you stop to think about it.  Yes, the existing law makes public nudity a criminal offense but it also requires the approval of the Attorney General to prosecute such cases – the provincial Attorney General.  So it is really a simple matter of making a cabinet decision at the provincial level and sending out a circular to the police: “Don’t hassle the nudists unless they are being lewd.” 

Again, why not?  All across the country there are nudist beaches that are either officially recognized or semi-officially tolerated and no harm has come to society as a result.  We have World Naked Bike Ride events in several cities across the land and it hasn’t resulted in public fornication or any other signs of societal collapse.  We have PRIDE parades all over the place with semi-clad and (some) altogether naked people marching through downtown cores and the federal, provincial and municipal governments stand proud, if not erect, in their support.

What we DON’T have is governmental support for, or toleration of, simple, innocent public nudity in appropriate places.  Would that we did!  And why can’t we have such support, or at least benign toleration for a lifestyle that is completely natural?  I won’t claim that it is inoffensive because we all know that somebody, somewhere will somehow endeavour to be offended by anything.  So what?  When WNBR events and PRIDE parades first showed up there were all sorts of public moralists bleating their brains out about them.  You don’t hear them so much anymore because they have been relegated to the dustbin of societal progress.   The same transformation is possible for public attitudes toward nudity in appropriate places on public lands: beaches, designated camping areas at federal and provincial parks, wilderness trails, etcetera.  All we need is for a few politicians to be a little more open minded and we could be well on our way to a new recognition of an ancient freedom – the freedom to appear in public in the wardrobe provided by our Creator.  Because whether you believe in God or just the random collision of the precursors of life followed by a course of evolution that is nearly impossible to credit, the inescapable fact is that we are all born naked, and it is an abomination before the throne of simple logic that we should be forced to be ashamed of our bodies and wrap them in consumer goods that are often completely unnecessary.

Okay, that’s all for the moment.  Now I have to figure out a way to present this to government.