Another Day at Kellys Beach in the Year of COVID

It was a good day at the beach on Saturday, even though I had to walk much farther south than usual.  I had arrived a few hours later than usual and without a nudist presence established at the usual area of the beach the textiles had migrated southward.  Most of them came afoot but there were four boats as well, one of them on the lagoon side of the dune.

On the sea side of the lagoon the boat farthest south was crewed by a pair of disconsolate young teenage boys hoping to see naked women but still too far north for that.  They had scrawled “SEND NUDES!” in the beach sand but that didn’t seem to be working for them. 

I told the boys that if they wanted to see naked people they’d have to take off their clothes and go a some hundreds of metres south.

“What? Take off our clothes?”

I assured them that it was illegal to be clothed while on a nudist beach because only perverts did that.  They didn’t want to be arrested, did they?

They considered the matter, exchanging worried glances.  They considered for some time as I walked on southward.  When I was about one hundred metres farther on I heard their outboard start, turned about and saw them heading north at full speed.  I think that worked well.

When I finally reached the little nudist encampment I found about twenty people present including three textiles who had canoed across the lagoon and had laid out their towels maybe thirty metres north of the first naked folks.  All the nudes were ignoring the three textiles and the textiles were ignoring the nudes.  That too worked well as far as I was concerned.

Unwilling to cede beachfront to the clothen I set up my camp six metres or so from the northernmost nudes and maybe twenty metres south of the textiles.  My nude near neighbours were a couple whom I already knew from previous years.  By and by I got my camp in order, went for dip to cool off and then for a walk down the beach.  The ability to go for a long walk on the beach is something that I particularly enjoy about Kellys. 

I had walked to where I was just short of the point when I met first one, then two couples coming north.  They must have gone so far south looking for privacy and when they saw me walking down the tide line they hurriedly dragged on their beach kit.  I find such events to be both funny and sad.  No true naturist/nudist would object to being seen naked, at least not by another naturist, especially not one who was nude.  But there you go, they did.  When I got to within speaking distance of the first couple I said “You didn’t have to cover up for me you know, this isn’t a formal occasion.”  The woman laughed at this slight attempt at humour; the man grumped.  Maybe he thought I was being too flip.

Maybe it was the plastic dragonfly bobbing about above my hat on a stainless spring wire that put him off.  No, I’m not kidding.  These things are sold by both Lee Valley and Amazon, advertised as an anti-fly device – a “scarefly” if you will –  modeled on the idea of a scarecrow.  You can either buy the finished product or try your hand at crafting your own from twigs and maple seeds. The maker claims that the scare dragonfly, the most voracious predator of horse flies and deer flies, repels both of these annoying pests simply by frightening them away, no chemicals involved.  So I thought I’d give it a try.  Why not, I kind of like the look of them anyway.  I ditched the clip and sewed mine onto the side of my Tilley hat.  I’m not claiming that it worked because I’ve only tried it on one day so far, but it certainly seemed to work.  It kept the level of annoyance by the little rotters to an inconsequential level while other people, unequipped with their own guardian dragonflies, seemed to be swatting regularly.  I shall continue the experiment throughout the remainder of the summer to see what conclusion can be reached on whether the scareflies actually work.  All the same, I’ll be bringing my Dollarama extensible flyswatter along with me, just in case.