RULES FOR HIKING NAKED

I was asked in a semi-oblique way to explain about hiking naked.  Some people have a great amount of trepidation about hiking naked – the fear of 'getting caught,' among other things.  So I have decided to write down my own rules for hiking naked.  Please bear in mind that these are my rules, not THE RULES, and you are not governed by them unless you choose to be.  So they are not rules per se, they are more like guidelines.  Feel free to adopt any or all of them, but when you are done they will be your rules, not mine.

MAXIM

If God had wanted humankind to be naked we would have been born that way.

 GENERAL

Get naked, keep calm and have fun.

The purpose of hiking is to hike, to get out in the open air and expose yourself to the natural world, to see a new trail or revisit an old one.  It is just a hike and, hopefully, not an adventure.  For most guys, whether or not we are honest enough to admit it, true adventure requires an even chance of death – sort of like any visit to the United States these days.  Women are usually much smarter about such matters.

The purpose of hiking naked is to maximize your own personal freedom and to be closer to nature.  Its purpose IS NOT to shock, dismay, annoy or alarm non-naturists.

DO NOT hike naked in hunting season.

Numbers matter.  Numbers are self-validating.  Hiking as a couple or in a group is far better than hiking alone.  Hiking in a mixed group is by far the best option.  There is a calculus of suspicion within the minds of non-naturists that runs something like this:

    – one man hiking naked alone is a pervert of some kind
    – two men hiking naked are gay
    – a group of men hiking naked are probably a gay gang
    – one woman hiking naked alone is a target for harassment or worse
    – two women hiking naked are much less of a target for harassment
    – a group of women hiking naked are far less of a target for harassment
    – a mixed gender couple hiking naked is self-validating and not dangerous
    – a mixed gender group hiking naked is self-validating and not dangerous

In terms of traffic volume on the trails weekdays are far better than weekends.  Holiday weekends during school vacation are the worst possible times to hike naked.

THE LAW

I am not a lawyer.  The following two observations are, I believe, correct.  They do not constitute legal advice.  If you want legal advice go to a lawyer.

Under Canadian law as it exists currently the following are your best bases for a successful defence in the unlikely event of prosecution:
1. that the location was sufficiently isolated that you felt you had a reasonable expectation of privacy. This point has already been established in law as a legal defence; and
2. that you did not intend to insult or offend any person and either covered up or offered to do so.

Women who choose to hike topless are breaking no law.  This has been affirmed in principle by the Ontario courts and upheld in the courts of British Columbia.  In keeping with the Common Law the same should hold true in all provinces except, perhaps, Québec, which has a different legal foundation.

LOCATIONS

Know the area in which you are hiking.

DO NOT hike close to inhabited areas.

Know the route, the access points, the relative frequency of usage.

Use trail maps of the area if they are available.

Have a careful look at the area on Google Earth.

Long horizons and open spaces are good but be aware of your environment and be prepared to react appropriately.

Once you have found a reasonably workable area for naked hiking DO NOT BLAB it all over the internet or you will no longer have it.  Feel free to share the information with friends whom you actually know IN PERSON – imaginary friends on Facebook don’t count.

BEHAVIOUR

On arrival at the access point if the parking lot has several cars in it be aware that you are not alone on the trail. You might want to reconsider the project for the day.

If the parking lot is empty and the trail is a single track in and out, you’re likely golden on the outbound leg; use greater caution on the return trip.

If the parking lot is empty and the trail is a single loop in and out you’re likely golden as far as the midpoint; use more caution on the back half of the route.

Act naturally!  What you are doing is perfectly natural, just somewhat unusual.  If you can think outside the box you can live outside the clothes.

Be polite. There are two universally polite greetings along the trail: “Good morning” and “Good afternoon” – being naked does not change this.

If someone says something ignorant to you gently return the favour by ignoring them.  DO NOT engage in a slanging match.

DO NOT annoy the textiles!  Cover up when you have time to do so.

When you don’t have time to cover up step off the trail and put a respectful distance between yourself and the textiles.

Watch your back, so to speak, check your back trail from time to time in case there is a troop of Girl Guides or a hungry bear coming up from behind.

Don’t annoy the bears either, ditto all other wildlife.

Keep your eyes open and your ears too.  This is no less important when hiking clothed as naked.  When you are in the forest and you hear the approach of hoofbeats moose are far more probable than horses.

Keep your eyes on the trail ahead.  Be aware of your “meeting distance” – the farther you can see down the trail the more time you have to react to someone coming toward you. 

Meeting distance is also important when encountering wildlife.  Bears and moose are not uncommon, coyotes somewhat less so and cougars are rare but not unknown – know how to deal with all of them.

If you do ‘get caught’ don’t worry too much about it, it is a very strange naturist who objects to being seen naked.  Offer to cover up and if the textiles decline your kind offer just keep calm and carry on.  If they show an interest in naturism stay and talk to them, maybe you can convert them, or at least plant a seed of the idea.  Consider this to be evangelization among the clothen.

Anything that you take into the forest with you should leave with you.  Don’t throw your crap into the forest!  Feel free to pick up and pack out crap left by morons.

EQUIPMENT

Some free-hikers insist that the only way to hike truly naked is to do so barefoot and without a pack.  There is a word for this.  That word is STUPID.

Carry a pack with some reasonable survival equipment and supplies in it, just as you would for any hike.  Include an Ace bandage or two against the possibility of a sprain. 

If you do not know what constitutes reasonable equipment and supplies DO NOT go hiking, regardless of your wardrobe choice, until such time as you learn.

DO NOT hike without something at hand with which to cover up quickly.  A hiking kilt is a good choice.  Remember, 'a man in a kilt is a man and a half.'

DO NOT think that you can somehow wriggle your legs into a pair of tight shorts in quick time.  More likely you’ll end up arse-first on the ground with your shorts caught on one knee and the other boot.  This is not an edifying sight but it is funny for spectators.

DO NOT hike barefoot!  No matter what the so-called free-hiking purists say hiking barefoot is deeply, dangerously, irretrievably STUPID.  If you injure your feet at some point distant from your car you have a long and painful hobble ahead of you.

Always carry a hiking staff or a reasonable facsimile thereof.  Collapsible nordic hiking poles are NOT a reasonable facsimile, they are useless crap as they will likely collapse just when you need them.  I carry a walking axe most times.  If I plan to go stream walking I bring a two metre long staff instead. 

SUMMARY

So those are my own rules, so far at least.  Who knows what new rules might be added with further experience.

Get naked, keep calm and have fun.

The FCN does not represent naturism within Canada

The Federation of Canadian Naturists (FCN) does not represent naturism within Canada.  This claim is axiomatic and is easily proven to be so.

As one member of the FCN Board of Directors has recently pointed out on Facebook, there is not one Federation, but two.  True.  There is the FCN, which purports to represent all naturists outside of Québec, and there is also the Federation of Quebec Naturists (FQN) which claims to represent all naturists within Québec.  But it is worse than that because of a split between eastern and western Canadian naturists way back in the late 1950s, a rift that has never healed.

It started out sometime after World War II with individual 'sunbathing' clubs coming together to form some sort of umbrella organization, the Canadian Sunbathing Association.  But, as in most extended families, there were disagreements, the sum of which was the split and the formation circa 1960 of the rival Western Canadian Sunbathing Association (WCSA) and the Eastern Canadian Sunbathing Association (ECSA).  As if this wasn't enough, the ECSA embarked on its own internecine fights that resulted in the entire thing imploding in 1978, with the FQN having hived off from it the previous year.  Meanwhile out west, the WCSA carried on and has since changed its name to the American Association for Nude Recreation – Western Canadian Region, which of course isn't a Canadian organization at all, but an adjunct of the much larger US association.

Some years after the demise of the ECSA, in 1985 the FCN was formed with the encouragement of the FQN.  It is largely an Ontario-centric organization cooperating with the FQN along the interprovincial boundary and having little to do with naturists beyond those two provinces, but with a few affiliated clubs out west and one in the Atlantic region.

I can't speak for the situation out west but that in Atlantic Canada is pretty clear to me.  Basically, Atlantic Canada is terra incognita for the FCN.  The FCN website is chockablock with errors concerning the region, errors that they adamantly refuse to correct.  No, that isn't quite true, they don't refuse because they don't bother to respond, they just take no action and the errors persist for years on end.

Requests for FCN assistance in forming a non-landed club within NB have met with similar indifference.  The FCN just doesn't affect to care.  That is certainly the way the FCN has come across during the tenure of different presidents.

This shines a light on yet another group, or should I better say number, of naturists that the FCN doesn't represent, the independent naturists.  These are those naturists who don't belong to any existing club, and there are a lot of them.  Some are 'at-home' naturists enjoying the lifestyle in the privacy of their own homes or cottages.  Others are 'away' naturists, enjoying the lifestyle when on vacation somewhere distant where they won't be recognized.  Still others 'free-range' naturists enjoying the lifestyle while camping, hiking, boating, etcetera.  Some few of all of these categories are members of one of the three naturist organizations in Canada, the FCN, FQN or AANR-WCR, but by informal poll of those I have met, most are not members of any organization and see no benefit in becoming members.

Being a great believer in strength in numbers I used to advocate on behalf of FCN membership.  I WILL NOT DO THIS ANY LONGER, and this is why:

In 2017 the FCN Board of Directors decided to participate officially in the Toronto Pride parade under the banner of the FCN.  I object to that and I am not alone in objecting.  However, I do not object to the Toronto Pride parade, I support the concept, if not the actual presentation of the concept.  People are people and should not be discriminated against on the basis of their sexuality.  Those who wish to parade their sexuality with Pride should do so with pride.

However, the FCN is not all about sexuality, or at least it shouldn't be.  Really, how can it be?  One of the very fundamental principles of naturism is non-sexualized social nudity.  I support that principle  fully.  I believe that sexuality and sex are private matters and that sex must remain as a private matter between consenting partners of legal age.  So I have trouble with the FCN deciding to parade within Pride, thereby conflating the very separate issues of nudity and sex.  This will confuse the public at large and will harden the prejudices of those already opposed to either or both ideas.  What FCN participation within Pride will do, whether they intend it or not, is to confirm the commonly held public perception that nudism / naturism is just one sexual fetish amongst a host of others.  I don't believe that FCN participation within Pride is good for naturism and I don't think that it is good for Pride either.

For those naturists who adhere to the principle of non-sexualized social nudity the FCN's decision is anathema.  I'm one of those people.  Others have had their say in other places, this is mine.  How can we as naturists either expect respect from society at large or hope to convince the nudism-curious that nudity does not equate to sexual conduct when the FCN, the supposed guardian of naturist ideals within Canada, is giving out the exact opposite message.

Needless to say I registered my disapproval with the decision on the FCN Facebook page, as did others.  These were valid concerns and quite well articulated I thought, and were supported by other readers.  The response from one of the Board of Directors was abuse and personal attacks.  When I appealed to the FCN President, I was informed that since I had declined to accept a position on the Board in 2016 I had no right to an opinion on the matter.

This brings up a whole new category of naturists that the FCN does not represent, all those who fail to agree with the Board and therefore are not entitled to hold an opinion or have it heard.  This, I strongly suspect, is by far the larger portion of the FCN membership.  And this is why I cannot support the FCN in any way, it represents nothing but the opinion of an inner cabal.


So, what should a national representative organization for naturists be doing in order to further the cause of naturism in Canada and to represent the interests of all naturists?  I have a few ideas on that but, as the FCN President has pointed out, my opinion doesn't count within the FCN.  That being the case I offer these ideas not to the deaf FCN but to the majority of Canadian naturists, people who may as well be the silent majority because the deaf FCN does not trouble itself to listen.  They are like the hedgehog in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, they just can't be buggered at all.
1
In the considered opinion that I am not allowed to have within the FCN, first and foremost, I believe that a true national representative association for naturists should concern itself with working towards the decriminalization of simple public nudity through the repeal of Criminal Code S.174 and the rewriting of SS.173 and 175.  This requires work, lots of work, not just playing volleyball.
2
Second, and further to the first goal, or perhaps as an avenue towards it, the Federation should be willing, able and prepared on short notice to intervene in Canadian court cases concerning innocent public nudity by submitting amicus curiae briefs whenever such intervention is warranted. 
3
Third, and still further to the first goal and as an avenue towards it, the Federation should be willing, able and prepared to intervene with print and broadcast media whenever the words naturism/naturist or nudism/nudist are bandied about in error with a well grounded refutation of the published errors.
4
Fourth, the Federation should undertake a program of public education so that the general population understands that the naked human form is neither an invitation to have sex nor a threat to society.
5
And fifth, but not last, the Federation should provide a secure home with secure principles for all Canadian naturists, whether or not they choose to be members of the Federation , and a  secure forum in which all are able to state their case and be listened to without being denigrated by some jumped up Facebook page administrator and without being ignored by a self-absorbed Board.

If secure personal nudity is the ultimate expression of personal freedom then the proper environment of such freedom is one of guaranteed democracy.